A Night Full of Dreams

Dream One: Grandfather Moves On

I’m sleeping on the pull out bed next to my cousin N at the grandmother’s house. The radio is playing and I’m trying to ignore the fact that my grandfather is seeing a new woman now that my grandmother has passed. The new woman is faceless but I know she’s my mother. She stands over my bed in the shadows, hoping I’m asleep and that I don’t know she’s encouraging my grandfather to come to bed.

While pretending to sleep I think to myself that I should ask her tomorrow if she’s sleeping with my grandfather. But the thought of my grandfather having sex while I’m in the house (even behind closed doors) is just gross. I’m trying to sleep. My grandfather’s getting it on. I don’t want to know. I opt not to ask.

The next morning I’m watching TV while the radio plays in the background. The song “I’m Not Dead” by Pink is on the boom box. The lights are out and I’m focused on a man talking to a shrink about his son’s change in behaviors. He won’t eat. For three days now the son’s behavior has been radically different. He says to the shrink, “Do you know how long he’s been holding my hand when we walk together? Everyday until three days ago.” The boy, who loves hot dogs, won’t eat them anymore. His behavior has changed in many ways and his father is concerned. The shrink he’s talking to is a child, supposedly a genius. He’s writing down all the father says and agrees that something has changed and the changes should be investigated. I turn to my cousin N, who is sitting on the sofa bed that’s still open and say, “Is this the movie The Omen?” She says “Yes.” We turn the channel to MTV.

Dream Two: Searching For More Than A Classroom

I’m late to class which is being held in the mall by the shoe store and bakery. I try to find the classroom but I’m lost. I know the mall like the back of my hand but I’m lost. I stumble upon a Woolworth’s but decide I shouldn’t go in to look at the sales. I should keep looking for the classroom. On my way to look I my cousins shopping with friends. One by one I pass them. At the bakery I see a girl that looks familiar but I don’t stop to try and figure her out. She calls out to me, “You’re not going to say hi?” I chucked and said I wasn’t sure it was her. I told her everyone one of our cousins was at the mall except for N. It must be a good shopping day I say. I keep going. She calls out to me, “Did you see my best friend Billy here?” I told her I wouldn’t know him if he smacked me in the nose. I think to myself that he’s a childhood friend she hasn’t seen in over twenty years yet she still calls him a best friend.

As I take a few steps more I realize it’s snowing inside the building but only on my path. I look down at my feet and notice they’re my mother’s shoes. I walk on the side of the fake plant and rock garden display at the mall while looking at my mother’s shoes. I find the classroom but not before I see my roommate Barney Fife walking with his students hand in hand. He pretends not to see me. I don’t mind. I enter the room and prepare to fail a math test.

Dream Three: Pretend Its Not Happening

City bus ride. I’m in the back ignoring the fire on the second level which happens to be an apartment area where Bella is waiting for me. The second level makes it a double-decker type bus. The apartment was the one I lived in w/ the mother in the early 90’s just before I left home. I’m sitting in the back talking to a girl, hoping the fire will put itself out. She says she smells smoke. I say I’ll go investigate. I ask the lady to stop the bus so I don’t fall as I climb the pole to the upper deck where the apartment is. She stops the bus. I climb up just enough to see that most of the fire is out and very little damage has been done. The radio is still playing “Leave Out All The Rest” Linkin Park. The fire didn’t touch the boom box radio. I climb inside and the bus driver follows. We begin to chit chat while waiting for the fire department. She’s got a 9 millimeter semi-automatic in her back pocket that she keeps for protection. As she and I chat she’s waving it around in sync with her hand gestures. I ask if its real. She says yes. I tell her to put it away. She does. I woke up.

Profile in the dream: Adult current age, healthy, I looked like myself
Old recurrent dream theme: the mall, the apartment from the 90’s,
Feelings upon waking: Tired. I didn’t get much sleep. I dreamed all night.
Feelings now: Still tired. Intrigued by dream number 3.

commentary on dream number three

Austin

Saturday, June 30, 2007-12:30noon EST