I’d be lying through my teeth if I said I wasn’t hiding from the world right now. I want to curl up and just disappear. I fight the urge to do that because I know it’s only a matter of time before I uncurl and make a decision to quit. Rocking increases dissociation so I don’t rock but man I want to. I’ve been eating but not much. I’ve been showering and keeping the house up but it’s a struggle. I may have read a blog or two, I can’t remember. I’ve been dreaming about my sister and mother again. It would be nice for that to stop.
This was to kill the time. I can’t remember why we titled this “Yes” but that is the name of it. LOL. I wanted to do something different than kids and flowers and ladies. I get bored with some of it but I still say I could do a flower everyday and be happy.
Hiding-Monday, August 06, 2007-4:45AM EST
I love this art work! How cool, I’ll have to get a copy some day.
I could tell you’ve been hiding from the world…I know that need to do so very well. You’ll come back to us when you’re ready to. I can’t say I don’t miss you, but I’ve faith you’ll get through this hard time when the time is right.
Looking forward to it!
I like that “Yes,” and I think some journaling or blogging about the title and the art might be a profitable direction to go. Write a story about why that face might be saying yes even though the expression says something else… or do some freewriting…
Thanks for telling us you’re hiding — you’re fighting well.
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Yes, I’m angry, tired and frustrated. Yes, I hate you. Yes, when I look at your face I think to myself, “What did I ever see in you.” Yes, when I think of you I feel myself crumble. I feel my throat tighten. My eyes water. And yes, when I think about us I think about dying. Yes.
It looks like a mask to me. A mask to go with the hiding. Hope you feel better soon.