She’ll be here after she gets off of work. It’s going to be cool this evening but that’ll be just fine. I’ll set up a nice outside picnic area nicely lighted but no romantic music or anything too strong like that. We’ll sit outside and eat homemade banana pudding, still warm cause it’s better like that. We’ll chat a little bit then awkwardly end our first date.
Thank goodness before Barney left for Missouri he fixed the lawn mower. Not only did he fix the lawn mower and mow properly but he pruned the trees. He’s motivated by money. I told him if he didn’t do it I’d pay someone else with my rent money to do it. A limb fell off a tree just inches from my boy. I wasn’t pleased. When I woke yesterday I found pretty nice looking yard. I was quite pleased. His timing couldn’t be better.
I wouldn’t exactly call this back in the saddle again. I’d call it willing to share dessert. I’m still rather hurt by how my relationship with Blossom turned out. I think about the girl daily. Most anymore I move back and forth between down right bitter to sentimental with no middle ground. Emotionally I’m still raw from the break up. I feel rather broken by it but not broken like other experiences make me feel. This one I figure I’ll recover from. I don’t, however, plan to think about that this evening nor do I plan to talk about “her.” I plan to eat banana pudding and talk.
It should be interesting to say the least. I feel like I’m going into this date hiding much. Something tells me she isn’t exactly coming over without her personal baggage but I still worry about my own. I still worry she’ll be able to see the broken parts of me. For a few minutes, if for nothing other than to enjoy myself, I’ll have to remember we’re just two people trying to enjoy an evening.
I have to remember there are no expectations. I’m not trying to make a life with her; I’m trying to eat pudding. If there are few or no expectations does it matter what my baggage is? Oh my gosh, what am I going to wear? I’ve been so focused on pudding that I forgot to think about what I’m going to put on.
video: James Morrison – Undiscovered.
Austin
Mmmm… pudding… hope both of you can enjoy it despite the almost inevitable flutters and worries and awkwardnesses.
Cheers to you for dredging up the courage to go on this first date, even if it’s just to share pudding. I know that lack of middle ground of which you speak. It’s only natural your feelings would fluctuate when thinking of how things ended with Blossom.
Still, you’re willing to try again with someone new, however tentatively. I shall be thinking of you and hoping you have a mellow evening.