Comments on: Will You Choose To Pass This Down? http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2007/11/14/will-you-choose-to-pass-this-down/ Sundrip Journals Sun, 12 Feb 2012 09:44:04 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Cheesemeister http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2007/11/14/will-you-choose-to-pass-this-down/comment-page-1/#comment-1968 Cheesemeister Sun, 18 Nov 2007 12:05:29 +0000 http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2007/11/14/will-you-choose-to-pass-this-down/#comment-1968 I've never been able to understand someone inflicting the same abuse on another as was inflicted on them, especially sexual abuse. I think some people just lack compassion. I’ve never been able to understand someone inflicting the same abuse on another as was inflicted on them, especially sexual abuse. I think some people just lack compassion.

]]> By: Marcy http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2007/11/14/will-you-choose-to-pass-this-down/comment-page-1/#comment-1969 Marcy Thu, 15 Nov 2007 13:12:10 +0000 http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2007/11/14/will-you-choose-to-pass-this-down/#comment-1969 Is there always power for the choice? I am fighting hard, because there is power in those past patterns, internalized. And the patterns I am fighting are not even really abuse, just bad fit, misunderstanding. How much more powerful must abusive patterns be. I'm not trying to condone it or excuse it, just saying it's not always easy, not always natural. I envy you both your natural, unhindered compassion for your kids. Is there always power for the choice? I am fighting hard, because there is power in those past patterns, internalized. And the patterns I am fighting are not even really abuse, just bad fit, misunderstanding. How much more powerful must abusive patterns be.

I’m not trying to condone it or excuse it, just saying it’s not always easy, not always natural.

I envy you both your natural, unhindered compassion for your kids.

]]> By: Beauty http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2007/11/14/will-you-choose-to-pass-this-down/comment-page-1/#comment-1970 Beauty Thu, 15 Nov 2007 02:34:20 +0000 http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2007/11/14/will-you-choose-to-pass-this-down/#comment-1970 At some point in time--I think during my first pregnancy (thank goodness)--I decided that the abuse cycle stops with me. I didn't have to make that choice. Like your mother (and mine) I could have passed along violent ways to my kids. I don't know why some parents do, and others don't. I only know that it came naturally for me to love my sons. Today when I see how gentle and loving and protective they are with their sons and daughters, I thank God I made the right choice. It may be one of the few good choices I've ever made, but for their sakes I'm so glad I got that right. For those who parents choose otherwise, it's beyond tragedy. It hurts my heart and head to even think about the sad results for the kids who bear the brunt of their parents selfishness. At some point in time–I think during my first pregnancy (thank goodness)–I decided that the abuse cycle stops with me. I didn’t have to make that choice. Like your mother (and mine) I could have passed along violent ways to my kids. I don’t know why some parents do, and others don’t. I only know that it came naturally for me to love my sons.

Today when I see how gentle and loving and protective they are with their sons and daughters, I thank God I made the right choice. It may be one of the few good choices I’ve ever made, but for their sakes I’m so glad I got that right.

For those who parents choose otherwise, it’s beyond tragedy. It hurts my heart and head to even think about the sad results for the kids who bear the brunt of their parents selfishness.

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