The People Behind My Eyes

One of the most notable things about this dream is my interaction with Blossom but what I’d first make right about the dream is my interaction with Captain. The likelihood of forgetting to bring Captain home is non-existent. Since I worry about his health and how he has continued to grow tumors I have continued to worry about life without him. The subject of losing Captain has come up in therapy recently. (Hell, no wonder therapy’s wearing me out, torture, losing my boy, incest, damn no wonder I’m tired.) The thought of this inevitability is so disheartening that I can hardly bare it.

Another part of the dream that needs changing is where Blossom walks in with her super bad perm. I’d say: “I’m sorry, but you can’t be here.” As in real life she would tell me she missed me. Even in the re-written dream she’d break into her manipulative and borderline based tears expressing abandonment issues we both share. I’d be unaffected by the tears because being affected by them would break the ability to respond in my best interest. “You can’t be here. Your friend can’t be here either.” I’d explain, leaving no room for her to give further comment, leaving no room for me to emotionally respond to the situation. Just a statement as I shook my head no and pointed to the door. “You can’t be here.”

In the dream when I went to the chiropractor’s office for a massage I’d pass through the waiting room where the duckling’s pitter pattered and hopped around. I’d ask the doctor why she had animals in her waiting room. Why in a professional building did she have animals walking around? Instead of just responding to the need it would be appropriate to address the issue too. Yes, the cute little things were in need but why were they running around in the waiting room of a medical office? In the dream I didn’t address that issue. I just offered to come in and help, never commenting on the obvious displacement and disruption. This is something that happened a lot as a child. When something was off no one said a darn word about it. We either didn’t respond at all, pretending the disruption didn’t occur OR we responded with assistance still not asking why this thing happened in the first place. I think asking the owner of the office where the secretary was and why she wasn’t clearing out the babies would be a good thing to write and right about this dream.

I go to the office for a massage with my trusty pal Captain Crunch in harness. He lays beside the bench the whole time with my hand dangling down, stroking his ears. We get up and get in our own car (a blue Ford Bronco II) not a cab and drive to our current home. As usual, after a doctor’s appointment we play catch, take a short walk then come in for a nap. When I walk in the door I find the house just as I left it, in desperate need of dusting. I don’t care. I’m going to take a nap I say. Captain attempts to get up on the bed with me. Sorry pal, “you can’t be here.” I make the big snoring, kicking, farting lug sleep on his own bed. When I awaken I again neglect the dust.

J of A

Dream Therapy: Dream and Longing Re-written

Dreams Therapy: Dreams and Longing
Dreams Therapy: Dreams and Longing Re-written