Stuff in last nights dream: a little duck in the throat of his mother looking out through skin thin. He could breathe; he was okay, just looking out. When she sensed danger she squawked then swam away.
In the same dream I was in the cafeteria of one of my elementary schools. It was after hours. There was a party being hosted by a student. No faculty was around. When a small blonde boy walked in the student announced that he was bad news and the party was over. The boy was all of 8 years old and had no clue why the room cleared just because he walked in. (I see connections to our Robert in this part.) It seems that we as a system stop functioning, scatter when he’s around. He has a clue though and it makes him feel horrible. The boy in the dream grabbed a sleeping bag and put up a tent right there in the cafeteria. Everyone was gone but me and him. I slept in my own tent in my own bag across the room, watching him curiously.
Later in the dream I was looking around the mall for those red tennis shoes again. When we tried to leave the van my sister was driving had a flat tire. While she changed the tire I went back in the mall to look around where I saw a book by a soon to be known author. I didn’t buy the book nor did I purchase the shoes. I couldn’t find the shoes. There were many like the high top converse I wanted but they had something off about them or they were too girly. Some were high heel tennis shoes, some had sequence on them, none of them I’d be caught dead in. I wasn’t disappointed. I didn’t really think I’d get the shoes. I was just there wasting time while the sister changed the tire. Funny how I looked around with no expectations, withholding true want because I figured even if they were there they’d be so damn expensive I couldn’t purchase them. Those shoes don’t just represent want. I think they represent “not having” but still going out to look and dream…still not letting myself hope in it because it will be out of my reach. I dream often of these shoes. Yeah I want them. The search and the feelings while searching let me know there is more to these shoes than the need to wear red high top converse. The whole time I looked for the shoes I did so with no shirt on. I realized everyone else was wearing a skimpy shirt but I myself was nude from the waste up.
Also in the dream I went to the pet store to look for a new dog. The pet store was in the mall but it was more of a rescue center in the mall. I’d never buy a dog from a pet shop. Anyway though, there were a few of mutts then a mother and her Whippet puppies. They darted around the cage right next to the cage of mutts. I have no idea why I’d dream of Whippets. I’ve dreamed of caged animals before but usually mutts, never really anything specific especially of the small and fast sort. After the sister got the tire changed we got in the van and drove away together.
No shirt. No red shoes. No service.
Strange night I’d say.
I have therapy today. I’m not taking Cappy Crunch with me. The snow is awful right now, deep and layered with ice….its rather out there.
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