The People Behind My Eyes

My city had a disaster response drill but few in the city were aware that their apartments would be destroyed by fire for the sake of timing the National Guard’s response. My old apartment as well as many of the high rises downtown (including those with Penthouse Suites) were destroyed from the 18^th floor up. The next day against a sunrise you could see nothing but strong iron and a few planks where apartment dwellers use to be. They’d been cleaned as if a company came in to pick up their mess and finish off the drill. It was as simple as that then life went on.

I walked around down town in a daze trying to figure out why they’d blow up a person’s home like that. I walked around the city until I saw a suspicious character wanted on sexual assault charges. I called the police. They arrived but didn’t believe me until he walked up and put a knife in my stomach for having the nerve to report him.

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Last nights dreams also included the whole emergency system in West Virginia becoming totally inoperable. Many mothers were livid because they couldn’t call the police if they needed to protect their daughters.

I walked up to the sliding glass door of a home with a mother and her daughter. The family knew me but she wouldn’t let me in, she just looked through the glass door and even right through me. I tried to reason with her but she wouldn’t let me in. She was upset because if I started to act stupid or anyone else for that matter she couldn’t call the police to protect her. It wasn’t me she feared, she feared opening the door where a stranger might run up behind me and break into her home. She couldn’t even call for help so opening the door wasn’t going to happen until the emergency system was back in place. She sat by the radio waiting to hear that it was operational. From there she turned into my cat Gracie who happened to have three little kittens. I talked Grace into opening the door. When I got in I went straight to the bathtub. All I wanted to do was relax and get my mind off the fact that the city was in serious danger with no emergency response lines. As I walked into the restroom to climb in the tub I realized the restroom was a huge room being renovated. There were old newspapers laying around, most had white paint on them and drywall was scattered here and there. The walls were exposed, the room filled with light but cluttered with renovation tools. I figured I’d take a bath anyway but I never got in the tub. Before I could take my bath a man walked in the room and asked me if I was sure he was the person that raped some girl. I refused to answer. He wanted to know why I didn’t turn him in. I figured calling the police was a waste of time but I never told him that.

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I sat outside the apartment where I lived in the 2^nd grade in the front seat of a limo with a driver I didn’t know. I watched a wedding in the front yard, a wedding my ex was a bridesmaid at. (I purposely ended a sentence w/ a preposition) She was wearing a black and white dress, very dramatic the way it flowed. She looked good. As I watched her the driver next to me started shaking uncontrollably. He was from some country like Bosnia or Romania. He was shirtless but wore long pants. I was more interested in the ex and the fact that a complete stranger walked up to her and started kissing her. The next thing you know they’re on the ground and he’s on top of her. I turned to the shirtless driver who needed a fix and said, “That guy is about the get the best p*ssy out there, that is so not right.” I noticed the driver was really needing a fix so I offered him a cig which he turned down. The ex and the stranger moved to his truck where I figured they’d consummate their new friendship. They never did but I about broke my neck trying to figure out if that’s what they were doing. The limo driver was really shaking by this point. He was holding himself, bending over, panicking because he really needed a fix. I’m unsure what drugs he was craving. Again I offered him a cig, he responded by saying he needed to use the restroom did I want to go with him. I realized I had to go so I hopped out of the limo. As I walked past the front door of where I lived in the 2^nd grade something brushed up against my arm. In response I pulled my arm up, it must have seemed like a threat to the German Shepherd that brushed me because in a split second his teeth were around my forearm. He didn’t rip and tear, he just added pressure and held on, like a viper he sank his K9’s in and left them there like he was pumping in a life ending poison. I was more irritated than anything so I put my right hand on his mouth and started to squeeze his jaw open. As I made progress a second German Shepherd came from nowhere and landed his teeth on the corner of my eye and in my ear. He held on as well, didn’t rip or tear, just held on as if he and his buddy were trying to decide that scaring the shit out of me was enough or if they should complete the act of terror by killing me. Little did they know I was more annoyed than scared but when he had my eye and I couldn’t get him off I remember thinking, “I’m in trouble now” but it wasn’t panic, just a nearly sarcastic comment, “Well, I’m in trouble now.” Just as the dogs decided it would be good for them to tear me to shreds I woke.

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Dreams: No Emergency Response No Help Available

Thursday, December 20, 2007-10:17AM EST