The People Behind My Eyes

It almost doesn’t seem real to watch him, 6 foot something with an instrument in his hand playing so professionally. I’ve heard him only once in real life. I was amazed. So, I kind of watch from a distance, from video posted on his blog and read the blogs themselves, stuff like that. I watch him grow, watch him stumble around making youthful mistakes and go every which way but the right way. Oh what my mother must say. He hasn’t mentioned her. He mentioned the death of my grandfather and the chain of events that would surely take place after it. But other than that he talks about his love life or lack there of, the dangerous games he plays and the drinking that leaves him void of control. I try not to think about it. I want to leave a comment so badly on his blog I can’t see straight, but I don’t do it. What on earth would I say? I don’t even know him anymore. I’ve seen him once in concert when he was 15. The time before the concert he was 3 years old being taken away from us. Now there he stands, tall, grown up, professional. It amazes me.

He has this whole advocacy thing going on. Improve the world one man at a time. On his blogs he states plainly what he stands for but the name he uses means he himself has no true form. He talks about feeling lost and he isn’t sure who he is. Well little guy, I know where you came from so the question “Who am I” isn’t one you’ll find in our family. I’m sorry you lost your grandfather. I had a hard time with that one too.

When I saw pictures of him on his blogs today I nearly didn’t recognize him. My goodness how people change in a matter of a year. He lives in an area I frequent but he’s changed so much I doubt I’d recognize him. It was just last year that I saw his photo. He sent it to me, sent me the link to his blog and everything. But now, WOW!!! The little snot nosed know it all is grown up. I can’t believe it. At age 3 the boy could read. At age 3 he was fluent in German. At age 3 he cracked jokes that made sense. I’m happy he turned out so talented. I just wish he weren’t so sad and angry. From a very lonely man comes the most beautiful music. I wish I could link to it but that’s not a good idea. I sent the link to a few people but putting it on here or giving too much detail at all isn’t a good idea. He’s good though, really good. The whole performance was awesome. It’s by his favorite composer.

Me