After three weeks of going back and forth about Barney getting a good cleaner for the dishwasher things finally came to a head. Not a clean fork in the house, not a clean pot or pan.. things came to a head.
What I wanted to say is:
“Aren’t you worn out by your own filth? The effort it takes you to be this nasty, doesn’t it make you tired? One really has to work to be so gross. This level of nastiness doesn’t come easily to most. Aren’t you tired? Maybe you should take a nap.
Doesn’t your stomach turn just looking at the lime build up on all of your dishes? No, the dishes you wash in the sink aren’t clean because the sink itself isn’t clean you nasty little man. You can’t take a dirty rag, wash dirty dishes in a dirty sink, transfer them to the other side of the dirty sink then call the dishes clean. What’s wrong with you? The product is $4 you triflin’ so-in-so. Buy it and shut the &*%# up. I want to cook NOW damn it!” … all of that followed by several slaps to the head and chest area.
What I said was:
Continue reading ‘Think Before You Speak’
I had a dream that I was on a date with some chick that looked like she was from a Latin country. We stopped at a little convenient store then tried to go back to my house but on the way there was a flash flood. The flash flood started then stopped just as quickly as it started but it left a heck of a lot of mud. We walked along the sidewalk to avoid the mud but we kept falling off the sidewalk, down the hill. I’d get back up or she’d get back up, get on track only to fall off again. By the time we got back to my house our shoes (black high top converse specifically) were heavy with mud. There was at least 2 pounds of mud on each shoe which made it difficult to walk. We reached my home and decided to go in by the basement so as not to mess up the carpet upstairs but when we got there the basement didn’t exist so we had to use the front door. We tracked mud everywhere.
Continue reading ‘Water and Fire - A Dream’
While using Stumble I fell upon a site about the anatomy of the ear which then reminded me that I wanted to look up “vowel Deafness.” How that connection came I dont’ know but it did. I even looked at pictures of the knee and the hips to see exactly what they look like very close up. Anyway though, in regards to vowels and spelling I started doing a little searching to figure out if what I’ve said all along has any validity. Something I figured out a long time ago is that I can’t hear the vowels in spoken words and I can’t translate them onto paper. I called it vowel Deafness. Not until today did I find out that such a phrase exists. I got online to look up simple searches like “vowel Deafness” which lead to a search query of “auditory or visual processing deficits” which lead me straight to Dyslexia. I don’t know what my issue is because I can’t diagnose myself but at least I know my issue isn’t laziness and isn’t disregard for accuracy or carelessness. One of the most interesting things I read about it is that vision and hearing are linked to spelling. One article mentioned a lazy eye muscle linked to poor spelling. This is really interesting stuff. If you haven’t seen the photo of my eyes close up see this image here from my about me page.
My sister, poor thing, went through all of her schooling not knowing she’s Dyslexic.
Continue reading ‘The Bad Speller’
There are many types of disclaimers and prefaces. People use them to let the hearer know certain information is to be taken as is or should only be used in a certain way. In general a disclaimer is used as a protection from others (a shield from law suits) and a preface to explain and ward off confusion. When it comes to explaining myself in speech and sometimes when writing on the blog I’ll give a disclaimer, not for the protection of others but to shield myself from the hearers reaction.
When I give a disclaimer but especially when I begin to over justify how I feel it’s so that the reader/hearer understands what I say has to do with me and not them so they shouldn’t take it personally and go off on me. I’m trying to protect myself from possible taunting, mocking and name calling. If I can explain things well enough then maybe the other person will understand. With that understanding maybe they’ll find it in their heart not to sucker punch me.
Continue reading ‘Disclaimer Preface Justification’
In about an hours time I talked to complete strangers about how to dress up a walking cane, about good books, about travel, movies, family, homelessness and trees, all of which was right after a therapy session. I talked to a woman about her time in Alaska, of course that lead to discussions of global warming. We talked about how expensive it is to go green. After that I talked to a man about his family reunions and about being from a family of 12 children with over a hundred relatives from his immediate family - all will be here this holiday season. After that I came home to my own chaos but that didn’t last very long because I chatted a bit with Barney who is feeling rather down about not getting a lot of Christmas cards this season. The entire time I spoke to these 4 different people I was aware of each and every thing around me, every sound, and every single solitary movement, theirs mine and things in my immediate environment.
Continue reading ‘Hypervigilance and PTSD’
Today does bring something different; it brings a calmer me to a table of idiots. It seems that since Thanksgiving the cab company has experienced a lot of fraud cases where people attempt to use Medicaid to pay for trips that Medicaid doesn’t pay for. I only got this information when I called to ask my therapist’s office why it is that they verified my appointment to the cab company without my permission to give out my name and the name of the doctor that I’m seeing. It seems that since November the cab company has experienced and influx of fraudulent cab rides, however, it doesn’t mean that every time an address shows up different that the rider is lying or cheating someone. Never does it justify calling a customer to call them a liar and a cheat.
Continue reading ‘Cab Company Saga Continues’
I’m not a fucking liar and I don’t appreciate being treated like one. To call me three times asking me the address I went to is just crazy. I told the address the first time. The fact that the operator put in a different address is just crazy. I told her where I was going but somehow this falls back on me making me look like a fucking liar. I told them where I was going. I told her not to treat me like I was lying. She said she didn’t believe me and I did conceal information. I told the woman that it didn’t make sense to profit now only to be financially screwed later down the line. She said she didn’t believe me. I told her how could giving true information be witholding. She said I should have known something was amiss when they kept calling me. How? Amiss? Yeah, you called me about an address. I was to second guess why you’re calling me? You called me because your operator put in a different address than what as on the card. I gave the same information every single time, to the operator to the cab driver and to the supervisor that called me a liar. If there is a problem it doesn’t automatically translate into a lie.
Continue reading ‘Im Not A Liar’
My city had a disaster response drill but few in the city were aware that their apartments would be destroyed by fire for the sake of timing the National Guard’s response. My old apartment as well as many of the high rises downtown (including those with Penthouse Suites) were destroyed from the 18th floor up. The next day against a sunrise you could see nothing but strong iron and a few planks where apartment dwellers use to be. They’d been cleaned as if a company came in to pick up their mess and finish off the drill. It was as simple as that then life went on.
I walked around down town in a daze trying to figure out why they’d blow up a person’s home like that. I walked around the city until I saw a suspicious character wanted on sexual assault charges. I called the police. They arrived but didn’t believe me until he walked up and put a knife in my stomach for having the nerve to report him.
Continue reading ‘Dreams: No Emergency Response No Help Available Part 1′
The first thing I notice in this set of dreams is how the people in the dream, the city dwellers are toyed with. It didn’t matter who you were, what economic or racial background you came from you were in the hands of higher ups who screwed you over for their own war games. Homes were destroyed for the sake of a drill, it was unbelievable. We were pawns and it didn’t matter if we wanted to be in that game or not. I also noticed that no matter who needed help (always concerning sexual assault) no one would be there to answer their call. Even if a policeman was given the story he didn’t help and the person wasn’t apprehended until I was killed in front of them. An emergency plan was in place, an entire policing system existed but became limited by the phone lines to them being down. They could patrol but private homes invaded or those living with abusers couldn’t reach out for help. Even if they could, many times in last nights dreams the person asking for help wasn’t given any. They were not believed. Their story was too grandiose to believe.
Continue reading ‘Dreams: No Emergency Response No Help Available Part 2′
You Are An Attention Seeker
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You’re only human, so you can’t help but want a little attention every now and then.You love the spotlight, but only when it’s well deserved. You’d hate to be known for the wrong thing.And you also don’t mind sharing the spotlight. You can easily give someone else credit or a complement.You know there’s enough attention to go around, and it makes you happy when your friends shine.You come across as: Friendly and interestingPeople may wrongly think you’re: A little more modest than you actually are!
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Are You An Attention Whore?
I know he didn’t just call me a whore! He doesn’t even know me. How can he pass judgment like that? That’s just wrong… name calling is wrong. You don’t even know me!!!
What Your Handwriting Says About You
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You are a fairly energetic person. You know how do pace yourself, and you deal well with stress.You are somewhat outgoing, but you’re not a natural extrovert. You think first before you act. You tend to be independent, rational, and logical.You are balanced and grounded. You know how to get along well with others.You need a bit of space in your life, but you’re not a recluse. You expect people to give you a small amount of privacy, and you respect their privacy as well.You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart.
You are a poor communicator. No one really knows exactly what you’re getting at.
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What Does Your Handwriting Say About You?
Energetic, check. Pace myself well? Most of the time. Check. Not naturally out going. Check. Need space. Check. Check. Poor communicator? Check. I say that because in person I often stumble over my words, take things the wrong way. I communicate poorly in personal relationships. I hate you blogthings for being right so much. Nobody likes a know-it-all. I hope I communicated that well.
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COMMENT POLICY
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Idiots are everywhere. We must protect ourselves from them. See the Welcome Page for more details.
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