I don’t set real New Years resolutions. I think of them as goals I plan to not ever reach. For instance, I told myself years ago I’d do better with organizing my disks. I keep artwork on disk, I keep other data on disk and I swore so long ago I’d do better about organizing them. Years of failing to do that proves that resolution pointless. Am I going to the gym? Who am I kidding? I do my stretches most mornings and before bed but getting out to a gym is just crazy talk.
I did keep up my once a week water resolution where I have water all day (and one cup of coffee). I did that to make sure that at least one day a week my body wasn’t polluted with soda and Kool Aid and all that. I have to give the poor little body a break. And I did stick with having one fried meal a month. I feel rather cheated if I don’t get a meal that starts with high fat and ends one beta blocker short of a heart attack. I stick to my one fried meal a month thing so that’s good. Add that to the water and I’d say I’m a bit healthier than 3 years ago. What I’ve discovered is that if my resolution doesn’t have to do with food it falls to the way side. This is why I’ve resolved to overcome my cookie disability. I didn’t spend all that time in Culinary School to only be known for my bread. So, I’ll be practicing with fresh ingredients until I am Cookie Queen.
What better time to start than the present. Last night started my plan to rule the cookie world. My diabolical plan was set in motion and I do believe I am one step closer to ruling the world with an evil spoon. I made cookies, not box cookies but homemade cookies and they turned out darn good. I will not be defeated. Short breads will not get the best of me. I will dominate. I shall be queen. I’ll own the cookie world (wha ha ha ha ha).
Sincerely, Your Queen
Austin aka CQ
This is a worthy goal, but you’ll have to knock me off my throne first. I make a mean cookie. Say, are there walnuts in those chocolate chip cookies? If not I doubt our friendship will ever go beneath surface level. If so let us vow eternal friendship. (And send me some so I can test them out before you mass market them, would ya? I’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart. It’s not like I need your little old cookies…)
I so appreciate your help. I see that your loyalty as a friend depends on nuts and I’ve bitterly disappointed you. There were no nuts in the cookies. Sorry about that. Is it over? (I fall to Beauty’s feet and hang on to her legs) Oh noooooo……DONNTTT LEAVEEEEE! Don’t leave Beauty, don’t go. I can get nuts. I saw them at the store. Despite how expensive they are I’ll buy them and forgo rent. I’ll be homeless and cold but you’ll have those nutty cookies. Just don’t go. I won’t be able to buy dog food, cat food or my clearly much needed psychiatric medications but you’ll have those nuts….
okay, that’s enough sucking up….now to my real comment.
Your throne has been challenged. Step off! (Holding a big white plastic spoon in the air - wha ha ha ha ha) The world is mine, mine I say MINE.
Austin aka The Noble Cookie Queen, Her Highness, Her Cookie Majesty
I do think an unbiased judge is needed.
Here are the rules:
I must taste all cookies made by either of you.
*whispers: for anyone looking to bribe, my favorite is the rare peanut butter chip cookie…. it may also be the deciding factor*
I know, very generous on my part to give up my time, taste buds, and endure the cookie eating. However, I am willing to make that sacrifice so that the true Cookie Queen may be crowned.
*snatches a cookie off each plate and wonders off*
I will do it (raising hand). I will sacrifice my earthly goal to lose weight inorder to volunteer to taste test all cookies and declare a winner — ESPECIALLLY cookies without nuts. (whispering that my favorite is dark chocolate cookies with white chocolate chips)
You guys are true friends. You’re willing to put yourselves out like this for the sake of putting one of us (Beauty) to shame. I feel so supported. As far as blackmail goes, I’m willing to pay it. I’m willing to win by any means necessary. By.any.means.necessary.
Austin <— should have been a politician
I would truly enjoy sampling all of those cookies!
I couldn’t sample just one, you see. Only all of them would do.
To keep this resolution, read the ingredients on the packages of those store-bought cookies. Then look up the names of those ingredients on the internet and see what they actually are. When you realize what is put in those, you’ll never touch them again!
I’m not the world’s best cookie baker. I’ll eat almost any cookie that is set in front of me (it’s the grab and run thing) but when it comes to baking them, they always turn out rather flat and hard. I do something wrong. However, I can come across with a wicked Snickerdoodle, San-tart and a cocoa cookie called a Cowboy cookie.
The real challenge is baking a cake from scratch and it not getting dry and crumbly. If you can accomplish that, it’s time to try an Angel Food cake from scratch and get the thing to rise. There’s a trick to that.