So why haven’t I gone in the hospital yet? Is it a matter of pride? Do I think I can do this on my own and keep my head above water? No, for me there’s a lot to be considered before I go in. I’d like to give some basic information about psych wards and how they work, what they look like, the food, the clients and the questions that are asked while there. This with other information should help people understand what a psych ward is for and what to expect as well as why I haven’t rushed to put myself in one.
Going to the psych ward isn’t the same as it was years ago. You don’t go in for months on months, not usually anyway. Most of the time people don’t have to worry about being kept against their will for an undetermined amount of time. It’s not like that anymore because the laws are set up to prevent it and protect the rights of mental health clients. So how long will you be in there? Your time will more than likely be short. Even private hospitals are subject to insurance coverage so a person’s stay is limited. With my insurance I’d be there no longer than 7 days but more than likely 3 to 4.
When you show up to the hospital you’ll go through an interview. The person asks you if you’re suicidal. Do you have a plan, how long have you been feeling this way, do you have a therapist, etc. They get up and call the doctor to see if he’s willing to let you stay. Now, this is assuming there’s a bed for you to sleep in. In Indianapolis several psych wards have closed so the chances of finding a place to go are slim. So, assuming I can find a hospital with an available bed I’ll go in and do the first interview, get accepted and then head up stairs so three other people can ask me the same questions the first person asked.
One might think workers should share information but there are several reasons why each person asks nearly the same thing. You should know its not because they doubt your story or are looking for inconsistent information. The repeat questions are not because of poor communication between staff members. There are actually cognitive reasons for being asked the same damn thing by 3 different people. Trust me, it’s not a conspiracy to figure out if you’re lying about your symptoms. It’s annoying but it’s not a conspiracy.
So, after repeating myself I’ll fill out some paper work and at least 3 hours later I’ll find my way to a room. The room has two beds. I’ll sleep in the same room next to a stranger. We’ll sleep with the lights out and with the doors closed. I’ll be forced to trust that she won’t get up in the middle of the night. Chances are she won’t but my past says she will so I watch her like a hawk. In the literally hundreds of times I’ve been in the hospital I’ve never ever had problems with a patient bothering me in the middle of the night. Despite the fact that this has never happened my PTSD issues won’t allow me to rest knowing someone else is in the room and we’re in the dark and the door is closed.
The next morning I’ll wake up and have a physical exam whether I’m in the right state of mind for one or not. Then I’ll go talk to the pdoc a few hours later. He’ll ask me some of the same questions as the initial inquiry then he’ll give me some medication. I’ll walk out and go into a group where we’ll set goals for the day. It’s routine so nothing really therapeutic will come of it. I’ll go to several groups where the information is the same as it was years ago when I was there. (Keep in mind I’ve been there a lot so nothing much has changed. New comers may benefit from these groups) We’ll do groups all day long until it’s time to eat. Then we’ll take a break and we’ll do another group. Then we’ll have visitation hours and watch dull television shows until it’s time to go to bed. The next day we’ll get up and do it all over again. I’ll do that for 3 to 4 days. Not very therapeutic. It’s just someplace to sleep until I’m past this whole “I want to die” thing.
For those that have never been to a regular inpatient psych hospital you might wonder what it’s like inside. For many psych hospitals you end up staying in a place that looks like a really nice waiting room at an office building. There are sofas to sit on, “lounge” chairs, a large TV, a small eating area and then rooms that line the entire floor. So if you think of a large square waiting room then think of bedrooms that line 3/4th of the room then add a small eating area with a staff station then there’s your typical psych ward set up. Most of the psych wards I’ve been to were carpeted, had windows with curtains or shades in the bedrooms, had a bedspread, floral pictures on the walls and an armoires in the shared bedroom and shared bathroom. Uh huh, you have to share a restroom with one other person.
The clients themselves are from all walks of life, most will be wearing street clothes. Sometimes the clients wear hospital gowns but most of the time clients are in their own clothes that don’t have buckles, belts, laces or sharp objects. You’ll see everyone from soccer mom’s to business men to college students and older teens. You see black, white, Asian, Spanish, etc. Most of the psych wards I’ve been to are not full of screaming and upset. They have people like you and me who simply can no longer keep going at the pace they’re going so they choose to seek the safety of uncomfortable conditions for awhile.
The food isn’t that bad either. It’s not choice but it’s not that bad. I’ve been to the hospital in Indiana, Texas, Michigan and Kentucky. (I sound like I’m barging but I’m not. Just givin’ info.) Only once was I in a ward where the floors were tile and the place was all hospital like. I’ve had few really bad experiences but I have had some. I’ve had few therapeutic experiences because going IP (inpatient) is about stabilization not therapy. Unless I go to a center like The Colin A. Ross Institute like I did in Dallas and in Michigan then I can’t really expect to go in there and do major work. I don’t expect it but there have been times when I got it. At the Colin A Ross Institute my group was lucky enough to speak with him and an associate via satellite. His is a very helpful program.
So this is basically a quick over view of what it’s like inside of a typical psych ward and what my personal experiences have been. It also may help to understand why it is I’m not in a rush to uproot myself just yet. If the time comes to do it then I will but I’m going to try my hardest not to go in.
Inside A Psych Ward
Wednesday, February 6, 2008, 6:35 pm
Yup. That pretty much sums it up.
Agreed…that’s about what it’s like here too. But around here, the food is awful. I often get treated as if I have an eating disorder when I go inpatient cuz I won’t eat, even though I tell them it is only because the food is beyond nasty. Last time I was inpatient I asked the staff if they ate the food there & most said no. I said “exactly my point”.
This is excellent! And, having just been in the hospital in August, I can tell ya it’s still the same. The thing is, though, I don’t think it’s even for stabilization really. If you’re out the door in three days, you have no idea if your meds are working yet or not. And for me, I have to pay for this crap with my own money because nobody will insure me for anything mental health anymore.
I’m with Sid–the food here in Colorado STINKS! The food at the Colin Ross program in Dallas was excellent, however. At least it was for the outpatient program. I stayed in a hotel and I liked that set-up a lot.
Hey, I know you already submitted for the blog carnival against child abuse, but I think this would be an excellent post to include as well. Many child abuse survivors have to face the decision of whether or not to go into the hospital at one point or another. My personal vote: Never again!
Someone recently told me that if you’ve seen the movie 28 Days with Sandra Bullock in it then you can get a good idea of the inside of a psych ward looks like and get an idea of how it’s run and what’s expected of you.
Except for the 28days part, I guess.
Thanks for writing this Austin. I found it enlightening. I haven’t been in one and the only time I’ve tried to find help that way, I couldn’t even get someone to talk to me on the phone.
I work at a psych ward and everything you stated is true, you have inspired me to want to change how things are run in the place that I work, though I am just a little guy on the totum pole it is truely enspiring.
I always feel downtrodden when i try to explain to myself how it could be possible for children to understand how they are being cared for in a psych hospital. Its so much worse for children in this situation. Indeed for children in a mental hospital it is far worse. The lounge the eating area the rooms all take on a sinister look when your a kid. There is no comfort there except for kids supporting each other with the last fragile bits of comfort they might be able to give to each other. Just A Place that reeks of grief.
Thanks a lot for posting this. I have suffered from depression for a long time, and sometimes wonder what it’d be like going inpatient. Your post was most helpful, although the place itself doesn’t seem like it would be… unless one is actively suicidal.
I used to think that it could be a sort of place where you could just completely check out for a while, and maybe exit the place feeling renewed, but your description (corroborated by others) makes it seem like that’s an unrealistic hope.
Thanks again for posting this.
The hospital is a band aide for major hurts. It’s where you go when help is needed so that post-suicidal life can be healthier and more fulfilling.
There are times I’ve come out feeling rejuvenated. I got the spark I needed to keep going. I think this happened because when I went in I’d hit rock bottom and was desperate for a spark. The hospital can provide that for a time but it’s follow up therapy that takes the spark to a flame which leads to a full grown fire.
I hope that with your depression you’ll be able to find outpatient rest. Maybe you’ll be able to find a place somewhere away from everything that will let your mind get away from everyday life. I have a few places I go that let me regroup. They’re mine, all mine and man are they better than the hospital.
If ever one must choose between the discomforts of an inpatient stay and life itself I hope they, without hesitation, choose life.
Thank you for commenting.
Faith
Yeah i went to one for 6 days we had 2 groups 4 rec groups which was basically an hour of playing a game or whatching a movie and i was the only guy there surronded by 7 gilrs 3 where obssesd with me and they didnt evne know me one i sorta knew she went to the same school dated her after tehn still going on but shes in another ward up north now the weekends we did nothing but whatch tv no groups or anything the food sucked the bed sucked but other then that it was like a vacation for me getting to be away form my family for 6 days. id go back fi ym family couldnt come vist me and the food got better i lsot 10 pounds in those 6 days form not eating
I realize this is a late post … but I’m a mother of a 29 year old man, who has been staying with me for over 2 months, because he lived alone in Seattle, and was deeply depressed and having horrible anxiety attacks.
He’s tried to come off Paxil 3 times now, but too fast and he’s crashed each time. He was at such a traumatic state in seattle and being alone, I feared for his life … so flew him home. We’ve seen 2 different psych docs, who have put him back on paxil ….. he tried to establish and it didn’t’ seem to work, then put him on other AD’s … nothing worked so far, all though he doesn’t give them enough time, because he feels SO traumatized, he tells me he’s in such mental pain, he can’t go on.
I know some of what inpatient would be like for him … and I don’t see how it would help, since what he needs to find, is the right medication … and that can take time. He tells me he’s done, he has no more in him to fight, to try. And he tells me he doesn’t see how a short stay inpatient would help … and this is where my question comes in.
While there .. if a person is suicidal, but doesn’t REALLY want to DIE .. just wants the pain to stop, and to have something that will make it stop, quickly … is there any medication that they give you, to ‘quickly’ stop the pain of suicidal thoughts … or deep depression and horrible anxiety?
He’s on Ativan, that helps just a touch, but he has to take 3 to do any good … and he may end up getting hooked on them. ‘sigh’
Any help from anyone here .. who may know about any medication they can give you, while there, that would work fast on the mental pain, would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you
Also wanted to add: he’s currently taking Pexava, which is paxil I believe, with salt added. He’s on 20 mg. at the time .. and has been on them for 5 days. In the past, if something is going to work for him, he tells me, he feels the affects very fast .. within days, but so far, he feels just as bad, if not worse.
I guess the first thing I’d suggest is that he find an inpatient facility that could help him through the withdrawals and help him find a psychiatrist who can assist with the right medication combination. This can be accomplished inpatient.
You said that you worried “…if a person is suicidal, but doesn’t REALLY want to DIE .. just wants the pain to stop.”
The way I understand it, that is suicidal ideation and a reason to go in for the purpose of stabilization not therapy. What you’re saying he’s going through is exactly what inpatient psych wards are set up to work with effectively. Inpatient psych wards are the mental help ER.
You said he wants the pain to stop and is desperate to make it stop. When I’ve gone in the hospital it was because I didn’t want to take that step of killing myself but I feared my desperation would get too strong and I’d act on something I couldn’t undo. People who go inpatient usually want help to not hurt themselves. Left without help they could cross the line they can’t come back from.
I’m a psych patient, not a doctor, so everything I say comes from the perspective of a patient who has zero medical training. While I have no medical training I do know two things about mental health: 1) a client must want help and 2) help must come from the right professional.
He wants help, that’s clear but does he have a psychiatrist who can assist with taking him off Paxil and setting him up with the proper meds? That would be a place to start. If he goes inpatient he may be able to get set up with a psychiatrist faster than to try and find one on his own in his current state.
I hope this helps. The entry may be older but its still fine to leave a comment or ask a question. Thank you for reaching out on behalf of your son.
With hope,
Faith