I Don’t Believe You
I talked to a friend on the phone about a conversation I had with another person. The first friend said that she gave me some paints but I told her she didn’t. That I’d remember if someone gave me a gift of oil paints. I’d still have them, especially if they gave them to me when I first moved into this house. The friend insisted she gave them to me. I told her she didn’t. That part really happened and I was discussing it with the friend on the phone in the dream. The friend in the dream said she thought I really had them and that I lied about it. I asked her why I’d lie about such a thing. She said because I stole them. I told her I didn’t. She said she didn’t believe me. She said maybe one of my alters took it. I told her we don’t steal. She said maybe I didn’t know the alter took it. Continue reading ‘Dreams of Doubt and Rejection’
When I woke up my immediate reaction was to go ask Barney if I give him too little gas money and if he feels used by me. Then it hit me, I know him well enough to know he does not feel that way about me. He does not feel used by me. I didn’t go running out there to ask him anything. I also know the friend in the dream well enough to understand she wouldn’t call me a liar and a thief. I think the thing with Barney is that in recent month’s he’s put himself in such a fatherly position. He’s been beyond kind and thoughtful, he’s also been really clean in the kitchen. This sometimes worries me. It makes me wonder when he’ll ask for sex.
Continue reading ‘Commentary on Doubt and Rejection Dream’
The tag line that goes with this piece called The Brighter Side is: With a little more sun and a few more flowers she may just very well follow her path to the brighter side.
One of the things I like so much about art therapy is that I can take a memory that’s not pleasant and make it into something else. When I re-write my dreams to come out as the victor instead of the victim it gives me a bit of power over them. When I paint the scribbles I do in my art journal I go from a piece that makes me sad to a brand new, separate nice feeling image. It helps a lot to see this little girl go from what she was to where she is now. For me this little one in “The Brighter Side” looks more like a little girl with a cold, maybe she’s down or something and trudging her little path but I don’t look at her with sadness. I look at her and go, awwww in a cute kinda way.
I may not be able to change all of my memories or art therapy pieces into an “awww” type painting but I can some of them. This is a good thing. Continue reading ‘Art Therapy – Changing Memories’