Dear Dr. D
Although I find your boyish-like ways charming there are a few things we need to address. I’m okay with how your left shoe is always untied but the hole in your sock on Monday was over the top. I’m okay with the stubble you’ve clearly not bothered to shave and the fact that you walk into my session still chewing the last bit of your lunch. These things make you human to me. I’m able to see you as anyone else. These flaws of yours actually help but yesterday when you failed to wash your hands after lunch I was just grossed out. Orange finger tips from your cheese puffs in addition to the hole in the sock of your untied shoe really made the session difficult for me to concentrate. Please do not make me call your mother and tell her the little boy she raised never grew up and might need help again with the basics. Please do not make me bring in baby wipes. I’ll do it.
Tomorrow when I see you you’ll be wearing something bland. Your shoe will be untied, maybe even both, and you’ll be chewing the last bit of your sandwich and chips. You’ll plop yourself in the chair. I’ll think to myself, for someone so disheveled you sure have your stuff together. We’ll have a good session as always but when I leave I’ll let you open the door so I don’t have to touch the handle that may have lunch remnants from weeks prior. And please stand back no less than 3 feet so that we do not brush up against each other in passing. Your arms are kinda long. I don’t want any contact that would cause severe obsessive compulsive disorder panic. It would not be good for business if I came running from your office screaming in terror. “Oh my gawd chip crumbs. He got chip crumbs on me! It’s on me. It’s on me. Get it off!” So please, just stand back a bit. It’s for the best.
You have been more than helpful in so many ways but Dr. D please, we gotta work on just a few minor things. Let us continue to work together for the advancement of my mental health and the peaceful atmosphere at the office.
Sincerely,
Your client,
Austin
A Little Boy’s Charm
Tuesday, February 26, 2008, 1:48 pm
If the orange fingers are bad for you, you’d really hate my horse dirtied fingernails. I swear I can’t keep them clean two minutes after I hit the barn and it takes another 24 hours to even get them back to clean. I guess it’s good that OCD is not one of my problems…………anymore. lol
Good luck with the next session.
Okay…this may be a bit tmi but so be it…
I can’t STAND orange fingertips from cheetos! Seriously…they are my favorite chip but I have to wipe my fingers off with a baby wipe or something like that after every single one. I’ve considered wearing latex gloves when I eat them! It really grosses me out.
This is a funny post, though the orange fingertips are obviously no laughing matter to you. Does your T read your blog?
Rainbow – I use to be a stall picker with no problems at all. Go figure.
Fallen Angels – Latex gloves? Too funny.
Beauty – No, he doesn’t read the blog, thank goodness. LOL