Monthly Archive for March, 2008

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Not Quite Dog Sick

Published on March 26, 2008 in For the Record. 3 Comments

I can’t believe I have a cold or something nasty. Congestion, stuffy head, fever so I can’t rest….hang on, that’s a commercial. I should get some medicine so I can sleep like I did before I had… ????? oops, that’s a commercial too, the same one in fact. I must be delirious.

I nursed a migraine for days but now I’ve got this going on. I’m going to sleep now. Yeah, it’s 6:09AM and I’m just now climbing into bed but this IS my vacation. … like I put off sleep only on vacation time. Who am I kidding…again with the delirious babble.

I’m sleeping now,
later tatters,
Austin

Aussie Conversations: Down A Twisted Road

Published on March 24, 2008 in Humor and Relationships. 3 Comments Tags: .

Three cups of coffee, two girls and a guy sitting in the living room having a perfectly nice time then one friend decides to take the conversation down a twisted road. I’m sipping my mocha coffee (that would be a tad bit of almond extract, chocolate syrup and vanilla extract) when this conversation ensued:

Male friend: It occurred to me the other day that my therapist is my bitch.

Aussie: (cleaning the coffee spit up on her shirt) What?

Male friend: Yeah, I pay him by the hour. He says what we do is up to me. That makes him my bitch. I’m his pimp.

Aussie: Oookayyyy…

Female friend: No, that makes you his John. The insurance company is his pimp.

Aussie: I know that’s the truth.

Male friend: Well he’s still my bitch.

Aussie: See, this is exactly why you have years upon years of healing left to do. You’re one sick puppy you know that?

Although we do have meaningful conversations during dinner or while having coffee sometimes theres a break in reality for things such as the above. Even so we all went back to sipping as if the man hadn’t just strayed off the path and went right down Strange Street, took a left on Twisted Road then parked on Out of His Mind Lane. I fear he may stay parked for awhile. LOL

Aussie Conversations: Down A Twisted Road
Monday, March 24, 2008-4:17PM EST

People Like Me

Published on March 24, 2008 in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health, PTSD and Relationships. 4 Comments

The follow up to Aussie Conversations: Down A Twisted Road has more to do with associating with survivors than it does with the strange happenings at my place. My therapist asked me if it’s helpful to associate with people like me. While I can look forward to off the wall outbursts with non-survivors and people not in the mental health system I don’t have the same connection and unspoken understanding that I have with survivors, people with DID and people with PTSD.

I told my therapist that yes it is helpful to be with people like me because I know when in the company of a person with PTSD certain things are a given. Being with others that have the same condition lets you relax a bit. No one is going to jump from behind anything for the sake of a quick scare prank. No one is going to come in the room wearing a mask of Frankenstein. We are careful because of our own issues not to simply walk up behind one another or stand behind one another. There are certain things that are simply a given that people with PTSD wouldn’t do to another person. It lets you relax.

When it comes to associating with others that have DID it can be very complicated but also rewarding. Continue reading ‘People Like Me’

Therapy Vacation

Published on March 23, 2008 in Therapy. 6 Comments

Dr. D asked me how I feel about him going on vacation. I told him his vacation is my vacation. I wonder if he thought I was going to freak out or something. Uh, no…you go on vacation and I consider it my time to chill too. Sheshh…I may not even shower. I’m kidding. Sooooo, I have a full week off from therapy. No getting up to get me and the dog ready to go. I can sleep with ear plugs in until the 30th of the month because I don’t need to hear the alarm clock go off. It’s so nice sleeping with those in.

So what shall I do with my vacation time? I have plans to deep clean. I know, I know, who on earth uses the words clean and vacation in the same sentence? Me. I’m making a list (but I won’t check it twice) and then I’ll go down the list and get as much done as physically possible. Continue reading ‘Therapy Vacation’

The Birds

Published on March 22, 2008 in For the Record. 3 Comments

…. really though, why do birds sing so gay?

I should have been in bed hours upon hours ago but nope, I’m up with the birds.

If a bird falls from a bow in the forest does anyone …….

I should sleep. I have someplace to be at 2pm. It’s now 7:50AM and I haven’t even greeted the sheets. I did get 2 new art pieces up though. They’re over on the main page. Go see.

10:27AM…still up.. dang it !!!

Random Friday: Now That’s Just Nasty

Published on March 21, 2008 in For the Record and Humor. 8 Comments Tags: , .

Last Tuesday I went to see my therapist. My regular cab driver came to pick me up in his regular attire, a red shirt, a half combed afro and long finger nails. I can’t stand a guy with long finger nails; it grosses me out for some reason. Well, when it comes time to paying the cabby I do so once a month so that I only have to reach up and take the chance of touching him once. But this month I needed to pay him as I went which increased my chances of touching him. So, Tuesday I climbed into the cab, coffee in hand, money in hand and what happens? He reaches back to take the money and I’ll be damned if his finger nails weren’t dirty. Under ONE finger nail was something brown. Oh shit, what am I going to do now? I’m in a cab with a guy who has long finger nails and they’re dirty!!! I’m trapped, like a caged animal I’m trapped!! But I can’t panic. I’ve gotta catch my breath, think, think, think. I figured I could always tuck and roll out of the cab and take my chances with highway traffic. The mug might not make it but so be it. I have to calm down, the therapy office isn’t that far, I think to myself. It was a long ride, a very long ride. He grossed me out so badly I couldn’t even finish my coffee. It got wasted, so I figure the man owes me a cup of coffee.

Other stuff that grosses me out thoroughly and falls under the “now that’s just nasty” category: Continue reading ‘Random Friday: Now That’s Just Nasty’

Dream Therapy: Uprooted Trees

Published on March 20, 2008 in Dream Therapy, Dreams, Mental Health, PTSD, Segments and Therapy. 0 Comments

Last night I dreamed that my mother was taking a report about a crime that I witnessed. We were sitting on the side of the road by a tree that had been uprooted. Most of the tree had been removed by public services but the trunk was still in the ground. The whole time we talked she was irritated with me. The more she got irritated the more steam came from the ground by the trunk. I reached down and pulled part of the trunk up and off. I noted that it shouldn’t have fallen apart so easily because the wood is solid. She was irritated that I’d broken concentration to note the condition of the tree. She kept talking. I kept giving answers and watching as more and more steam rose above the grass line. Then in a totally different spot but not that far away a second steam hole broke through the ground. Now that had her attention. I told her perhaps the roots went deeper than anyone thought. Maybe they went straight to the core of the earth and the heat from the core hitting this cold surface made it turn into steam. I then reached over and finished pulling up the rest of the tree trunk which was maybe 2 feet thick. I realized it shouldn’t have been that easy to pull up. I also noticed no roots came up. Continue reading ‘Dream Therapy: Uprooted Trees’