The People Behind My Eyes

I usually handle the physical pain pretty well but right now I’m an irritable, angry mess. Add in therapy issues and poor sleep and you’ve got yourself one galactic bitch.

I’ve described chronic pain as a pair of glasses made for someone else that I’m forced to wear. I put them on and I’m to adjust my life to someone else’s eyes, a totally different depth of field and understanding of sight in general. I can’t see anything without it filtering first through those glasses. I can’t think straight in this kind of pain. Usually I do okay wearing someone else’s glasses, with my sight off the usual mark. But sometimes my vision is too distorted. My ability to function fails. My responsibilities fall to the way side and all I can do is wait for it to ease up. Usually I handle it pretty well. I go about my day, get stuff done and don’t complain outwardly. But add lack of sleep and therapy issues and I’m just pissed!!! I’m pissed, depressed and physically exhausted. That’s all I have to say about that.

My neighbor is having brain surgery. I’ll be taking care of his dogs while he’s gone. Three dogs, my dog and two cats and a bunch of me….this should be fun. Truthfully, I feel honored that he’d trust me in his home while he’s not there. He loves those dogs (he gives them beer but he loves them) and wouldn’t leave them with just anyone. They’re sweet. I enjoy my time over there. All I have to do is go over and let them out for a bit, fill their water bowl and feed them, that’s all. With my energy level the way it is it feels like a lot but really, I’m happy to do it. I know I just complained about pain and energy and everything but when someone trusts me with something precious I can’t help but accept the joy that comes with it. My twisted glasses do at least let me see that much.

Austin

This is a shot from the recent full moon taken from the backyard.

Off the Mark
Tuesday, April 22, 2008 – 12:16AM EST