The People Behind My Eyes

If you saw him wouldn’t you publically humiliate him too? From there I went on a verbal abuse tirade. I was shocked and horrified that a van full of children and their mother ranging from 14 to 7 were yelling at my 3 year old brother for wetting himself in public.

The dream started out gross and ended bloody and down right disturbing but still telling. I felt so sick when I woke. It started off with my brother having a bowel movement on a brick wall at a store. He stood against the wall and you could see this mustard yellow BM go on the wall. The mother and I were in lawn chairs outside the store looking out at the parking lot. I asked my mother why she was allowing him to use the restroom on the wall. I don’t remember her answer but she let him continue. In several places the toddler marked the wall with BM. I told him to stop and that I’d take him to the restroom. He got angry and ran into the street. I ran after him to keep him from getting hit. Just before I reached him a van stopped because they saw feces on him. The mother, who was also the driver, got out of the metallic coral coloured mini-van, picked my brother up and began calling him names. Two young teenage boys (maybe 13 years of age) jumped from the side door and grabbed my brother holding him high in the air mocking him. The sun was out, it was a very hot day. The parking lot was packed with cars, traffic was heavy. The boys held him up mocking him because he had diarrhea on his shirt. I took him out of their arms and scolded the boys for their actions. None of the children in the car understood why I was so angry with them and their mother. They continued laughing at my brother. The mother said had I seen my brother use the restroom on himself wouldn’t I do the same thing? She wondered if I’d seen him use the restroom on himself and if I had witnessed it she thought I too would parade him through the streets humiliating him.

The mother and her children were well dressed. The hair of the children was dark, they looked Jewish which is of strong significance for me. They looked like a middle class family the kind society assumes has it together and would never behave in such a cruel way. I looked at them in the van, angry for my brother and started yelling obscenities at them. When that didn’t faze them I decided on a personal attack. This is when they changed from being Jewish to some form of Pentecostal. Despite my strong belief against the existence of hell fire I told them they were all going to hell and there was no hope for them. I told them their Lord and Savior didn’t know them. I went on and on and on until the mother got in her van and drove off in a huff. I knew the cursing wasn’t getting my point across so I used what I knew would hurt them enough to make them leave. I wanted to hurt them back for what they did to my brother.

Commentary: I wanted to hurt them. I thought about what would hit the heart the hardest and used their belief system against them. That doesn’t sit right with me because I purposely hurt those people. Yes, they were hurtful to my brother but the fact that I thought about what would hurt most is too much like how my mother thought about what hurts the most so that she could use that instrument on me (dowel rods on the palms of my hands).

I find it interesting that the mother did nothing at all during this whole fiasco. She showed no concern for what was being done to her young son.

Recurrent theme: Using the restroom, the store parking lot, public humiliation, lying, shape shifting (Jewish to Christian)

Austin

Humiliation: Dream Therapy 1of3-Saturday, May 03, 2008 – 12:02 noon EST

Humiliation: Dream Therapy 1of3
Humiliation: Dream Therapy 2of3
Humiliation: Dream Therapy Re-Write 3of3