Back when I was one and a flower was still a flower
And daylight meant a new beginning not a continuation of yesterday’s horror.
Back when I was one
When I saw colour for what it could be instead of simply what it was.
Possibility seemed like confinement,
Holding me back from soaring as high as the swings would let me go.
I could touch the sky feet first, pig tails flying behind me
Smile as bright as the sun
Back when I was one.
When I answered to one name and reflected one face
When I didn’t flinch at the slightest blowing of the wind
Or squint as hope shone too brightly, threatening happiness I felt too filthy to embrace.
When I could see a crayon and not tear up
Touch a rag doll and not go limp
See a climbing tree as a challenge
And never settle for being uprooted, starved and tossed into the fire.
Then, and only then did my eyes beam full of life.
But now I can not see, not like before I knew what it meant to be homeless and hungry, afraid and in need or
Before I knew the difference between I and We.
.
Poem and art title: One
Poem date: Wednesday, May 14, 2008-12:17 midnight EST
Entry date: Monday, June 30th, 2008 0 9:20AM EST
After reading Enola’s entry outlining the outrageous and baffling comments by a lawmaker, reasonable people could feel nothing less than sadness, despair and heart stopping fear for the degraded condition this society has settled itself into and gotten comfortable in. Her entry outlines a defense attorney’s horrific comments as he discusses child rape and the death penalty. The YouTube presentation is one that I personally will remember. His words are here: “I’m going to make sure that the rest of their life is ruined, that when they’re 8 years old, they throw up; when they’re 12 years old, they won’t sleep; when they’re 19 years old, they’ll have nightmares and they’ll never have a relationship with anybody.” Clearly he has never heard of the ideals behind the Decleration of the Rights of Children or it’s amendments. If he had any idea at all what it means to do the right thing he would have kept his mouth shut. If he had any listened to himself just once he would hear himself go against every single idea there is behind caring for and loving our children.
Tomorrow we are back to the weekly grind, therapy, doctor appointments, checking on neighbors, running errands, etc. Where did the week end go?
Yesterday as I traveled to Hobby Lobby with my best pooch Captain Crunch it occurred to me that the bath I gave him a week ago is no longer effective. The breeze was quite nice so I parked under a tree, left the sunroof open and all then windows then hurried into Hobby Lobby. Before I got far from the car a lady made a comment about how big he is. She asked if he bites. I said, “Well, he shouldn’t but even if he does we got that whole rabbis thing taken care of.” She backed away from the car. I told her I was kidding but she didn’t think it was funny.
Inside Hobby Lobby I made my few purchases and was about to leave when I realized I left a bottle of lime green paint in the cart. I said, “Oops” and put the paint on the counter to purchase. The lady behind me sighed heavily and rolled her eyes. I said, “Sorry I’m stealing 5 seconds of your life which you will never get back.” She rolled her eyes again. At least the guy I nearly hit with my cart was understanding. I nearly hit him because I ran AWAY from the clearance isle. That’s a bad place to be so yup, I took my cart and headed quickly away from that area but ooops, sorry for the permanent knee injury sir. No, I’m kidding, I missed him but just barely. I explained what I was trying to get away from. He has a wonderful booming laugh.
Have you ever visited someone’s website and were so offended by what they said and their skewed views that you want to log off and clean your browser? You don’t want their cookies on your computer. You don’t want any trace of them anywhere on anything that belongs to you.
What they had to say is so far past reasonable and so WRONG that all I want to do is log off, clean my computer and take a long hot bath. Spybot Seach and Destroy here I come. Calgon, take me away!
It’s a grilled cheese and soup kinda night here with Evita on the tube. As many have said, Madonna was born to play the most expensive ho in all of Argentina. Beautiful, beautiful performance by her with the gorgeous, ever talented and yummy José Antonio Domínguez Banderrrrrrrrrrrras.
After looking up images of Antonio it’s going to be hard to avoid watching either Zoro or Shrek Three as an encore.
Gotta run, soup is on, Madonna is waiting and I’m sure Antonio wonders which one of his movies I’ll choose.
Aussie
PS. I hate you Melonie Griffith for marrying Antonio Banderrrrrrrrrras ………. I should send you hate mail.
I think on my feet because I had to, not because the art of response was something I chose to study. I do not understand those that can’t think on their feet. I’m confused by it. I know I stayed alert, focused and was very “mission” oriented as a child because when it came to living with that woman every second counted, every word counted, every inflection or lack thereof counted so yes, I worded things just so and I was good at saying what needed to be said at the time it needed to be said.
Last night’s conversation came to a major blow out between me and Blossom who took me on a tailspin with pure emotion and manipulation as opposed to well thought out responses. Confusing is behavior based purely on emotion. I’m stumped. I’m annoyed by it. I’m shut down by it. Pure emotion with no factual information isn’t the way to live but neither is living on facts alone or being ready for a war of words that my or may not come. Both of us are fighting with old weapons.
CLICK HERE. Then scroll almost to the bottom. I printed the photograph on acrylic paper in light blue lines then added acrylic matte and a tad bit of watercolor paint.
While talking to Dr. D one of the smaller ones popped out. Wide eyed and a bit frightened she slid to the far end of the sofa and right to the floor. Within her sights was a doll house. She’d seen it before and told him he needed to sweep her bedroom because it was dusty. She asked all kinds of questions about the house leading me to believe she’s in the “why” stage. She then said, “We should get one of these.” He asked what we would do with it. She said kind of confused, “Play with it.” She liked the wooden house. It looked real, not like a Fisher Price house with bold screaming colours that don’t allow the eyes to rest. For most of the session they talked about the house and different parts of it. Little did he know her small wish would be granted. For 99 cents at the local thrift store we brought home our first doll house ever. It is of course a fixer upper but in the spirit of a child I say, “It’s mine, all mine.” I don’t care if it’s a fixer upper or not. We’ll paint it and do whatever we want with it. Oh, someone said we should do a tiny mural inside. Oh how fun.
For a full hour we sit and talk as if we’re old friends with no problems, like we don’t hate one another, like we’re pleased to hear the others voice on the phone. We sat for a full hour chatting about a friend who has three months to live and how crabby he is waiting to die of cancer. I don’t say how harsh it sounds for you to call him crabby or for you to say his 15 yr old daughter is being unreasonably angry about living with a father who has Schizophrenia and three months to live. Your voice fades into fog and I can hardly hear you but I add a few acknowledgments anyway.
I have that sick at heart feeling that I’d truly like to get rid of.
We talked about doing relaxation stuff before we start therapy but we kinda freaked about it. We’re supposed to listen to his voice and be okay with that. Lord no, I don’t think so. Then Amy worried he’d want us to go to sleep or something. We talked about Blossom for a bit and how the little one’s really don’t like the girl. Then he said something that we seem to feel powerless to keep her away from us. Insert Robert who doesn’t like to feel powerless. From there our original (the host) popped out for a few minutes having no clue what the hell was going on. She apologized for our mother being so cruel to us and making it so difficult to treat us in therapy. She said she didn’t want to be put to sleep either. I think she actually stayed for the rest of the session. That may be the first or second time she’s been in his office. She’s been around a bit here and there lately.
November 12th through November 31st Sundrip will offer all prints in my Etsy shop as a buy one get one free sale. Please see the announcement in the shop for more details.
My Etsy Shop Sundrip on Etsy
Two 11x17 prints have been added. "Katherine" and "Little White Dress"
November 7, 2008
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There are no implied rights to posting a comment. Free speech means you can say what you feel you need to say without the GOVERNMENT coming down on you, not me. If you decide to be an insensitive idiot your comment will be deleted and you will be dismissed and ignored. There is no Comment Constitution out there saying Blog Owners must uphold the First Comment Amendment and they can’t delete or moderate words. I delete stuff off my blog all the time because there are a plethora of idiots out there and they seem to flock to my blog making moderation necessary.
Idiots are everywhere. We must protect ourselves from them. See the Welcome Page for more details.
Click here for the GENERAL COMMENT and GUESTBOOK hub.