About Your Passive Aggression

I’ve been thinking…..no one, and I do mean no one is as reckless as you without intent. It’s one thing to step on my toes, it’s quite another to take kicks to the groin repeatedly. You kick below the belt way too often for your actions to fall under the category “reckless”. The joke you told me about incest in Pennsylvania was a below the belt kick. After you told me you said, “But I guess you wouldn’t think a joke like that is funny.” I said, “You seem to be full of jokes lately.” Silence, more silence, dial tone.

When Barney put in extra cabinets there was “something” behind the boards way in the back. I never saw it. I asked him to remove it and don’t tell me what it was because I didn’t want to know. I turned around and left. You kept talking until I finally out right told you to shut up. A few days later while talking about something totally unrelated you brought up exactly what was behind the boards. You knew full well why I didn’t want to know. Another instance….I stopped watching Criminal Minds quite some time ago because the show got to be way too triggering. Was it really necessary for me to have to again tell you to shut up and don’t tell me anything at all about this season’s finale? This time I brought up your passive aggression and how you wait until I’m not thinking about the subject then bring it up. You apologized, cried a bit, apologized for being hurtful and figured it was over.

You put on quite a show about how much you love me and how you’d never do anything purposeful to hurt me but sweetheart, your passive aggression is with intent. Let me tell you about yourself, you have so much anger over the lack of control you have over your life. You express that anger by striking out and hitting below the belt. Others must answer for you being a weak, spineless user. Others must deal with your manipulation and passive aggression because you refuse to take charge of your life or stand on your own two feet.

You are not reckless, you are downright sick. Your actions prove your weakness and prove that you are a spineless, low down, no good waste of my precious time. So why have I wasted so much on you? Enter my own issues. I’ve been abused since I was 3 years old. I’m use to it. Funny thing is, if you hit me we would never speak again. A very long time ago I told you very seriously that if you hit me you’d best kill me because if I get up you’re going to pay for everything that has ever been done to me in all my years of life. If you hit me, for your sake, you’d better kill me. But nope, you don’t use your hands on me. You open your mouth and out pours the most vile and vicious words that could be spoken. You then follow them up with tears and an outpouring of “I love you”. Your emotional abuse is so sly, so manipulative and sometimes so covert that I can hardly point and say, this is what hurts, it hurts here. Then there are the outright behaviors that I can point to and say, “You are one sick woman.” Emotional abuse is so much harder for me to break away from than physical abuse which is why you were allowed back in my life these many times over the last 7 years. How I look so very forward to my own emotional healing so I can once and for all be done with you. I look forward to the time when I can point my finger and say, “You are a part of my past. Don’t come back through my door.”

Joan of Arc

About Your Passive Aggression-Monday, June 02, 2008-7:54PM EST