This entry may not make any sense but I needed to write it down anyway.
I rub my cheek usually on the right side with the back of my left or right hand. I rock back and forth but try to catch myself and stop. I know when I sway it makes me look strange so I try not to. When nervous I tend to put one hand very close to my neck, laying on my chest. As a kid I use to sleep with my arms bent at the elbow in the air. It seemed to calm me and I could go to sleep. I hate to admit it but I catch myself shaking my head back and forth rhythmically. I feel so stupid when I do that. I count. I don’t leave the house without a gel pen and paper because if I get anxious I’ll need to doodle my way back to a manageable stress level. A pen and pad are very much like my security blanket. When extremely anxious and obsessing over something, refusing to sleep for fear of nightmares, etc sometimes my body will jerk really hard. Continue reading ‘Zombie’
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