War of Words

You are Worf
You are trained in the art of combat and are usually intimidating.

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I think on my feet because I had to, not because the art of response was something I chose to study. I do not understand those that can’t think on their feet. I’m confused by it. I know I stayed alert, focused and was very “mission” oriented as a child because when it came to living with that woman every second counted, every word counted, every inflection or lack thereof counted so yes, I worded things just so and I was good at saying what needed to be said at the time it needed to be said.

Last night’s conversation came to a major blow out between me and Blossom who took me on a tailspin with pure emotion and manipulation as opposed to well thought out responses. Confusing is behavior based purely on emotion. I’m stumped. I’m annoyed by it. I’m shut down by it. Pure emotion with no factual information isn’t the way to live but neither is living on facts alone or being ready for a war of words that my or may not come. Both of us are fighting with old weapons. This is crazy, it really is. In the Star Trek theme of this entry Blossom and I are like Warf and Bones trying to date. Can you imagine that union? Try putting Data and Warf together or even Spock and Bones. This is that crazy. . . was that crazy because last night came to a major head. I can’t do the tail spin (for now cause later she’ll be back). She takes parts of what actually happen and then adds them to things that didn’t happen. It’s hard to unravel her spin and get to the truth. It’s so crazy that I want to record or conversations just so that I can come back and go, “No, see the proof is here, you actually said this.” I want to video tape our visits so I can go, “No, forget the web you’re weaving the video shows you doing exactly what I said you did.” I don’t like questioning myself or sitting back going, “How does she put three or four different occurrences into one and call it truth?” It puts me on guard, makes me want to keep my mouth closed and makes me suspicious and bitter.

Last night we addressed the issue of her stealing from me and from Barney. We discussed her being unable to be trusted in this house alone because I don’t know what she’s going to take or get into until she’s taken it or gotten into it. She was not happy about me bringing up this issue or using the word “steal” and “untrustworthy”. She admits to taking things but those words I suppose are too harsh for her so back we go to how she has to watch every word she says to me and watch everything she does so as not to offend me. Back we go to lets stick to the theft. Now she’s too tired to continue the conversation. Great. I’m too tired to continue us….I mean for now anyway cause you know this isn’t over. Three months down the line she’ll pop back up and I’ll have her back in my life. I’ll rant and rave, cuss and scream UNTIL I get it in my head that I’m better than this….

There are too many wars to fight. I can win any if I’m fighting with out dated weapons.

Words are weapons.

Thought processes can be weapons.