Dear Sirs in the white van,
I’m sorry I acted ugly at the grocery store today. When you pulled up behind me and stopped I panicked and spilled profanities. This isn’t because I don’t like people that drive your type of vehicle, it’s because I’ve seen stuff like this on Dateline. I’m not sure what your intentions were but the look on your faces was priceless. You seem to wonder how a short, chubby chick such as myself could muster that kind of attitude in a split second. As the first man exited the van to get into his parked truck he had a good sense of humor about the ordeal. I still wonder if his narrowly missing my car while backing out was payback for me saying how much I’m sick of people bothering me and how the crime rate is ridiculous and criminals should be shot while hanging from the nearest tree. I apologize deeply for insulting your manhood. I’m just happy I decided to leave your mother out of it. What we three learned about this is that you can never really be sure what another person is going to do AND you can’t expect to pull up behind someone in a white van (which is often used in homicidal crime sprees) without getting cussed the effe out.
Again, I apologize from the bottom of my heart,
Sincerely,
Citizen Insane
This was priceless!!!! I’m still laughing!
Well I never knew that about white vans, but you can be darn sure I’ll not look at them the same way again!
Ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahaha!!
Dateline NBC and America’s Most Wanted show the get away car as a late model white van. “If you’ve seen this white van with plate number…..” call the tip line. I saw myself being pulled into the van and becoming a statistic. I was pissed!!! Not today I thought, not this day, not now! I just went off!!!!! I felt so stupid afterwards but ya know, better safe than a statistic I say.
OMG! That is so me, I will react to being startled in that way too, and have. So funny though, we have to laugh abou this stuff or then we’d really be off in a ditch. Too funny, thank you.
A few years back when there were those sniper shootings in DC and VA, there was a report that the shooters were driving some sort of van. I remember being suspicious of every van I passed for a long time.
On a side note - My husband and I always argue about whether to lock the car doors or not when we are driving. He says yes, it is safer. But I grew up outside Camden City in NJ - you didn’t lock your car doors. If carjackers wanted your car, they’d open the door, throw you out and take it. If the door was locked, they’d shoot you through the window, reach in, open the door, and pull you out. Or at least those were the rumors………