My doctor and I have been discussing my suicidal tendencies, urges to self mutilate, rapid switching and hospitalization. So far there’s a no go on hospitalization but it’s not totally out of the window. I’m having a really difficult time stabilizing. I keep switching repeatedly. I can’t hold a conversation to save my life. I can write stuff down but to say it out loud, anything much out loud, doesn’t seem to work. I haven’t made any phone calls to anyone because of it.
In therapy I’m sure I look like a fumbling idiot. I switch so fast. One person can be right in the middle of a sentence then just leave. The other person out tries to finish the sentence but has no clue at all what we were talking about. We are not really sharing space as well as we have before so it leaves the next person out rather clueless… and embarrassed. Our functioning has shut down because of our inability to concentrate on things. I think I’ve visited a few blogs in the last few days. If for some reason I don’t show up at your blog know it’s because I can’t seem to keep it together for very long. I hope to get my head back soon. If I end up in patient I’ll send out a general email to a group of you that know one another. I also have a way to have someone post a short and sweet entry here on Sundrip. Hopefully this won’t need to happen.
So what happens to Captain if I go in? He’ll be next door with his 3 buddies. Always good to know a neighbor will step in when you need it. The girls can be cared for over here by my roommate. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind filling their bowls once a day and cleaning out the box. I don’t see him having a problem with that. Captain would be a bit much for him though.
That’s all for now,
Austin
Hang in there! I’m glad that you have a plan. I hope things improve for your soon.
I’d lost you for a while, but you’ve been on my mind a lot lately, and I’m glad I found you tonight.
Sounds like you’ve been having a rough time. I agree with enola that it’s good that you have a plan, and I wish you the best.
I must say you’ve created some beautiful art since I visited you last. I love the YouTube slideshow.
Take good care of yourself.
Sending good wishes your way!
You are in my thoughts! I hope things settle down for you soon but it is good to know that you know what you are going to do if you need further help.
Take good care!
There’s a list of people that have been on my mind .. you are on that list, how weird is that? I also wonder how Paula J is doing and how the writer “the air” is doing. I’ve thought often of MayPoles of Life, Maggie from a very long time ago and the poetess who wrote about sparrows. I’ve thought about ya’ll … I wonder how things are going and such…….
It pleases me very much to see your name today……
smiles to you and yours,
Austin
Thinking of you…