Daily Archive for August 28th, 2008

Dream: Cramped

Published on August 28, 2008 in Dreams, Mental Health and Therapy. 0 Comments

I had the, “I feel like I’m getting screwed over” dream again. I don’t know what that’s about. I hate those dreams though. I know most of the time in my dreams sex is a power play so when I’m  doing that to some strange guy then I can fall back on a realization I had a long time ago. When I have this dream it’s because in my waking hours I feel screwed over, powerless and afraid.

I had a dream my candles didn’t light as well as a dream about seeing a kid from my past who grew up in foster care then faked a high school transcript to get into college. We sat in his car talking about how his plan would backfire when a girl in a station wagon pulled up beside us with another girl in the back. The girl in the back had on really short shorts with her legs open. He and I had our heads turned to the side looking up her shorts. I noticed she had some sort of venereal disease of a crusty nature and made several comments about how she may have gotten it. After a few off comments, as if we hadn’t just had this slight derailment, we went back to talking about how his plan to get into college wasn’t a good one.

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Grow Into Peace

Published on August 28, 2008 in Abuse, Art, Grief Sadness Loss and PTSD. 2 Comments

In therapy we talked about the entry where I said losing Captain is like the pain of losing my brother.

If I remember correctly my sister’s room didn’t really have a theme but the theme of my room was mallard ducks accented with trees that if moved around too often dropped all it’s leaves and died. My room was extremely clean. I stayed in it as often as possible. I also stayed home from school a lot so I had plenty of time outside of the room. I stayed home to care for my brother while my mother went to work and my sister to school. I missed so much school that I was warned I had to earn back missed days by good attendance or I’d be expelled. It wasn’t the first time nor the last that I’d have to earn back missed days. Continue reading ‘Grow Into Peace’