The People Behind My Eyes

I had the, “I feel like I’m getting screwed over” dream again. I don’t know what that’s about. I hate those dreams though. I know most of the time in my dreams sex is a power play so when I’m  doing that to some strange guy then I can fall back on a realization I had a long time ago. When I have this dream it’s because in my waking hours I feel screwed over, powerless and afraid.

I had a dream my candles didn’t light as well as a dream about seeing a kid from my past who grew up in foster care then faked a high school transcript to get into college. We sat in his car talking about how his plan would backfire when a girl in a station wagon pulled up beside us with another girl in the back. The girl in the back had on really short shorts with her legs open. He and I had our heads turned to the side looking up her shorts. I noticed she had some sort of venereal disease of a crusty nature and made several comments about how she may have gotten it. After a few off comments, as if we hadn’t just had this slight derailment, we went back to talking about how his plan to get into college wasn’t a good one.

Later in the dream I called Dr. D at home. A young girl answered the phone. She and I shot the breeze for about 30 min. She said she’d like to write to me when she goes back to her boarding school in Washington. I told her it wasn’t even appropriate that we spoke on the phone let alone to write back and forth. I said since she’s part of Dr. D’s life it wasn’t the greatest thing to talk to her on the phone. Dr. D was in the background making comments but I couldn’t make them out. While he jabbered on my fish kept jumping out of the bowl. Every time he jumped he got larger and larger. Captain then rushed in to try and eat him. The cats kept trying to get at him. Pretty soon he was so big that all the water spilled out of the bowl. I had to put a plastic cover over the top and go get him some water. When I came back his bowl was larger but so was he. There was also a ring of candle wax around the top sure to poison the not so little fish.

The whole time this was going on I talked to the girl on the other end of the phone. She told me she’s Dr. D’s girlfriend. I told her I knew that wasn’t true because she’s only seventeen. My phone rang and I woke up.

What I picked up from this dream is that I may be feeling somewhat cramped and without a lot of choices, perhaps like a fish out of water. I also feel like I have a gang over. Is it possible to be drunk with anger and anxiety? If so, that’s what I’m hung over from cause yesterday’s cab ride was just jacked up.

Austin