The People Behind My Eyes

Joan to Amy Smiles: Evidently it’s okay for Grace to hurt Bella
Morton: Okay then, find Grace a home.
Joan to Morton: Seriously?
Morton: Sure, and when you finally get it through your thick head that this is too much loss for us and that it’ll turn Bella’s world upside down then you can go knock on their door and ask for that dreaded cat back.  Then when Maureen gets back you can tell her that in addition to losing our dog and telling Blossom to hit the road that YOU gave her cat away. You wanna do that? I didn’t think so. Now shut the fuck up about it. She stays.
Joan: Whatever!
Destiny: You’re setting yourself up to have no reason to be here and he’s not going for it.
(Morton nods his head in agreement)
Joan: I just don’t like her.
Destiny: It’s more than that.
(Morton nods his head in agreement)
Destiny: You said a long time ago without Captain here you’re free to go.  We know you too well. for it to just be that you don’t like the cat and now she needs to go. Its you who wants to go but we’ve got Grace and Bella to take care of. You’re not free to go.
Morton: Bell is use to Gracie and she’s not helpless.
…………………………..
Yesterday Barney asked me if I’m going to get another dog. I said yes. I don’t know when but I know it won’t be all that soon.

Since I jokingly call him Barney Dad or Papa (usually when I want something) he’s decided he should meet the mother of his child. I told him he didn’t really want to do that. He asked if she’s pretty and how old she is. Yikes! Is she pretty? Yes and she’s old as sin, literally sin. When I told him he didn’t want to meet her he asked why. I told him he might find the Green River Killer a bit more personable. He pressed it so I stumbled around and finally pulled something clean out of the air. I said, “Well, she’s pretty but she has Elephantitis of the ears.” I have no idea where that came from but we haven’t spoken of the woman since. Big ears run in my family. We can thank my grandfather for that.

I think Barney can tell I’m a tad bit lonely. I try not to be too much trouble here.

I’m slightly on the jumpy side too. I jump at every sound and every slight movement even when I know its coming.

Dr. D will be on vacation the week of the 8th. I usually don’t have an issue with it when my therapist goes on vacation. I figure when he’s on vacation so am I but right now I hate to see him leave for a week.

I’m going to fill my Zoloft script.  I figure taking the meds will help with depression. I’m not the most med compliant patient out here. I never have been but I think it might be a good idea to go ahead and start being compliant. I was already walking a thin line. Maybe the meds will make things a tad bit easier.

Morton, do something, make this better, fix this. That’s Joan’s wish, make this better, fix this but he can’t. So now everything is his fault and Gracie’s fault… mainly her own fault. She’s everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Morton always steps up to the plate and gets things done but this is just out of his hands. Ya know, he’s got a good head on his shoulders and stuff but he’s not invincible. He’s not our mom but we see him as invincible, unbreakable, always has the upper hand and thinks ahead. Only Morton thinks ahead for us not against us. I should stop comparing him to the mother before I piss myself off or Morton.

Austin

Saturday, August 30, 2008-2:22AM EST