About noon yesterday we lost power due to heavy winds and rain. I slept through most of the storm itself. When I got up I could see trees down, lines down and everything. I stood dumbfounded by all this then POP the lights went out. They came back on around 2AM Monday morning.
The only way I could try and get myself to be okay with being in the dark by force was to remind myself that not only will I get power again but I also have a dry home with walls. I still have all my stuff, nothing has been washed away or damaged. The only thing I’m going through is a short power outage. It helped some but man it was really difficult to sit in the dark. I have a ton of candles so I lit them and sat them around. A few hours in I turned on the MP3 player and hooked it up to some speakers that power off the player and then did a bit of sketching in the dark. Those should be interesting to see in the light 
One thing that made it difficult was when Fife Jr. got home around 7PM he came in upset about his ex. who he’d just argued with. He starts yapping because he had called to make sure she was okay only to find she’s okay enough to argue. He said he’d been calling around to check up on people then he turned his head sideways and asked how long the lights had been out. My heart sank. For the first time in a long time I regreted comeing here, not because someone did something wrong but because they did something right. He called his family to check on them. I got no phone calls and that really hurt. Truthfully it never crossed my mind that I should call someone and let them know that despite trees down in the area and lines down, I’m okay. Despite fire trucks in the area making the street in front of mine look like a long line of red maybe I should call someone and let them know I’m okay. And it never not once crossed my mind that anyone would call me to see if I was okay. When it got dark I just lit some candles and went on about my business. It was not until Fife Jr. said something about being worried about his family and that he called to check on them that my heart sank. It hit me like a tone of bricks that there wasn’t anyone for me to check in with here in the state, no one to answer the phone and hear with hurried breath, “are you okay out there?” It never even crossed my mind…… not once. I just kicked into doing my thing, period.
The reason I felt regret for ever coming here is that I’ve started to think I can’t ever live alone again. I wonder if I’ll thrive off living alone the way I use to or if I’ll need another face on the other side of the door like I do now. Although this family has major, major faults they are halfways decent. For the first time I felt regret coming here because I may have been better off never really knowing or seeing with my own eyes what a family is.
I see Dr. D today…. I look forward to seeing him.
J of A
If I may, there are people who wonder if you are okay.
I may not live in the same state as you, I may not have your phone number nor you mine, and we may not be of the same technical family but, and this is a big but here, there is a concern for and about you. You are cared about, and if I had your number and knew of bad weather was coming your way, you very might have had a call from me.
Family and relatives are two different things. I have many relatives, yet I’ve had friends who were more “family” to me than those very relatives.
I realize you may be talking of the 3d interaction here. I still wanted to remind you though that you are not completely without someone who cares for you all.
I still wanted to remind you though that you are not completely without someone who cares for you all.–
I know, and thank you. It was just a sad eye opener when he came in all worried about his family and stuff… just sad.
I know very much about caring for and being concerned over people I know on the net. The other day when Ike hit I thought to myself, man Velvet Sacks just got finished with Hanna. Jay just got through Hanna now she and he have Ike to deal with. I was trying to think of everyone I know in it’s path (all virtual people of course) but still my thoughts were with them. So I do know what you mean about caring for people you’ve met on the net and worrying about their safety and the safety of their home.
Thank you also for knowing that I was referring to in state people and not net friends that I know get worried when this blog just sits with no activity, no rant/raves, no “aussies conversasions” or anything like that. I know people care and that I’m not totally alone.
smiles to you and yours,
Austin
About noon yesterday while you were losing your power, we were packing to leave our dismal campsite. I didn’t know anything about the path of the storm, but if I had I would have been concerned for you.
I realize you were referring to in-state people, but still, I would have been praying that you would be alright. Literally praying, I mean.
I know the sense of sadness you must have felt when Fife Jr. told you about checking on his family. That must have cut like a knife. How sad that while he was making sure his loved ones were okay, you sat in the dark, alone, and then sketched by candlelight, getting through the situation as best you could. You must get weary from always having to peservere alone. I feel like I’m alone in so many of my struggles, but I do have family around me, whether or not I share with them what I struggle with.
This post hurt my heart, it really did.