The People Behind My Eyes

Dear Ladybird,

Dear little one, white with a brown spot on her butt, huge brown eyes and even bigger floppy ears. It is my loving duty to encourage you to never again jump from the window of a moving vehicle. I try my best to keep you from hearing words of thunder pour from my mouth but when you go flying out the window with your ears caught in the breeze colourful words will abound. So please, for the love of all that is holy, do not, I repeat, do not jump out of the car window. Thank goodness we were only pulling off or your spotted ass would have been in more trouble than it was already in.

I apologize deeply for accusing you of having mange. And I apologize for saying that you are a cockeyed dog crippled by stupidity. It was not my intentions to hurt your feelings when I accused your body of being a bag which plays host to fleas. I was just shocked is all, upset that my adopted baby was in harms way. Please do forgive the barrage of attacks against your character. I never should have mentioned your other mother’s past and her clan of  illegitimate pups….never should have said it. Your other mother has changed her ways and no longer roams the streets mating with every Butch, Bingo and Bailey that comes along. So let me take this opportunity to acknowledge her progress. Betty “good time” Beagle, keep up the good work. So anyway, I didn’t mean any of those words it’s just I was out of my head with worry so I said things I didn’t mean. Can you ever forgive me?

Despite all of this puppy drama I was encouraged to see how the community rallied together for you, my little rogue pup. I hope you’ve learned your lesson and will never again jump from the little green car dubbed “The Aussie-mobile”.

Sincerely and with much love,

Mama Thunder

(note: I didn’t say any of this to her. The only thing out of my mouth was, what the hell? Then a few people helped me get her back in the car safely where I drove home in shock. I like the above version much better though)