Comments on: Swimming In Negativity http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2008/09/24/swimming-in-negativity/ Sundrip Journals Thu, 08 Jan 2009 14:12:50 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 By: Austin http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2008/09/24/swimming-in-negativity/#comment-4643 Austin Thu, 25 Sep 2008 15:42:01 +0000 http://www.sundrip.com/journal/?p=2421#comment-4643 "Maybe part of this is the need to attack ourselves before anyone else has a chance to?" We talked about that in therapy yesterday and about what I'm trying to destroy and push away so I have more control over the situation I fear will end in rejection. What comes across my brain is nothing short of assault. "Oh you're a sensitive little bitch aren't you?" and stuff like that. It's horrible. I think a lot of it has to do with the trigger that just doesn't' stop. That same damn memory just doesn't stop. Austin “Maybe part of this is the need to attack ourselves before anyone else has a chance to?”

We talked about that in therapy yesterday and about what I’m trying to destroy and push away so I have more control over the situation I fear will end in rejection.

What comes across my brain is nothing short of assault.
“Oh you’re a sensitive little bitch aren’t you?” and stuff like that. It’s horrible. I think a lot of it has to do with the trigger that just doesn’t’ stop. That same damn memory just doesn’t stop.

Austin

]]> By: beautiful dreamer http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2008/09/24/swimming-in-negativity/#comment-4641 beautiful dreamer Thu, 25 Sep 2008 13:49:07 +0000 http://www.sundrip.com/journal/?p=2421#comment-4641 PS I took your flower test and discovered I'm a Snapdragon. It just figures, doesn't it? PS I took your flower test and discovered I’m a Snapdragon. It just figures, doesn’t it?

]]> By: beautiful dreamer http://www.sundrip.com/journal/2008/09/24/swimming-in-negativity/#comment-4640 beautiful dreamer Thu, 25 Sep 2008 13:48:18 +0000 http://www.sundrip.com/journal/?p=2421#comment-4640 One thing I've come to realize over the years is that people aren't always aware of when I switch. Even when I feel as if I'm making a total ass of myself, they don't seem to notice that anything out of the ordinary is taking place. The way I feel when the revolving door syndrome takes over is usually not a reflection on how others are responding to me as I switch--it's more about my own insecurities and fears. Your therapist is trained to deal with multiplicity; even if it might overwhelm him at times I'm sure he can handle it. But I bet he's not as frustrated as you think he is. For one thing, he can be objective about all that switching because he's not the one doing it. As for your self-criticism, I can totally empathize. I do this all the time when I'm being creative, whether it's with my writing, sewing, etc. I don't believe I can do anything right and so I have a running interior monologue of insults and deprecation. Maybe part of this is the need to attack ourselves before anyone else has a chance to? I didn't realize it was Maureen who has the food blog. I visited it and couldn't find a way to leave a comment. I wanted to tell you that I bookmarked your recipe for pot roast. It sounded (and looked) so yummy! Since I'll be cooking dinner for me and Sissyface after I move, I'm on the look out for good recipes. One thing I’ve come to realize over the years is that people aren’t always aware of when I switch. Even when I feel as if I’m making a total ass of myself, they don’t seem to notice that anything out of the ordinary is taking place. The way I feel when the revolving door syndrome takes over is usually not a reflection on how others are responding to me as I switch–it’s more about my own insecurities and fears.

Your therapist is trained to deal with multiplicity; even if it might overwhelm him at times I’m sure he can handle it. But I bet he’s not as frustrated as you think he is. For one thing, he can be objective about all that switching because he’s not the one doing it.

As for your self-criticism, I can totally empathize. I do this all the time when I’m being creative, whether it’s with my writing, sewing, etc. I don’t believe I can do anything right and so I have a running interior monologue of insults and deprecation. Maybe part of this is the need to attack ourselves before anyone else has a chance to?

I didn’t realize it was Maureen who has the food blog. I visited it and couldn’t find a way to leave a comment. I wanted to tell you that I bookmarked your recipe for pot roast. It sounded (and looked) so yummy! Since I’ll be cooking dinner for me and Sissyface after I move, I’m on the look out for good recipes.

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