I usually complain about money around the beginning of the month but you know what? I feel good right now. The thing is this, I like when everything is paid and there’s a zero balance on everything. My car was paid off yesterday. Heck yeah! The overall cost was mega low but it still took a bit to pay it off while paying insurance, $4.99 a gallon, rent and phone and all the other stuff I pay. That small payment hurt but it’s paid off and all my other obligations are covered to a zero balance. I don’t like an empty wallot but I do like the feeling of pride for meeting my obligations.
The fur babies have what they need for a month. I have medication and personal items plus a very tiny cushion for emergancies. Can a person really be happy like this? Yes, especially when they know they were told they’d never, ever make it on their own.
My income level has dropped significantly since I stopped cooking professionally. My lifestyle is very different. Tight isn’t really how I’d describe it. Ten years ago I averaged 80 grand a year. I now bring in about 7 grand. Life is majorly different. I doubt calling myself destitute is an exaggeration. But even in this state, when I’ve covered everything, when my pockets are empty, there is still a feeling of pride. I cannot lose that feeling of pride because once I do my feet stop. Maybe it’s strange but it feels good to know when it comes to bills and food I can sit back and rest for this month.
J of A
What a relief to have your car paid off!
Doesn’t it feel good to prove all the naysayers wrong? Don’t you want to thumb your nose at them?
Going from 80 grand a year to 7 grand a year, wow. But you’re experiencing that delicious realization that you can be content without lots of money, and that’s got to be a good feeling.
I paid my bills today and I feel good and relieved, too. I understand the feeling of resting for the month then. It’s always such an anchor off my back. I’m glad you feel proud. You deserve to feel it. It’s not easy when things change like that, but you are still making it. I think that is FABULOUS!!
Great News! I am so glad you are at zero, no where to go but up from there. Congrat’s you’ve earned it!!! Even though I have not known you for long (in this reality), I never thought for a moment that you wouldn’t or couldn’t make it…never, nope not ever.
Love,
Heather
Thank you everyone….
the whole idea of not being able to make it and being proud that I do comes from my need to prove that I can stand on my own two feet without crawling back to my mother.
The whole “you can’t do this on your own” thing is an old message/tape in my head. “You’ll never make it without me, blah, blah, blah…You can’t live without me. I’m the only one you can depend upon and trust, blah, fucking blah, blah, blah.”
It really was beaten into my head that I’d never survive without her. But hey, I can. I do. I will.
I think what she meant was, “You’ll never survive with me.” Now that there is a true statement if I’ve ever heard one.
Austin
YEAH on the car. We have 2 more pymts on ours. We are doing the Total Money Makeover and hope to be out of debt soon.
I didn’t know you cooked professionally - how cool!
That’s brilliant, Austin. You certainly deserve to feel happy and proud of yourself.