The People Behind My Eyes

Two men, one white and one Latin stood in my grandmother’s house asking for directions to Texas. The house was dark and looked exactly as I remember when I was a child only in the dream I was an adult.

Me: You’re looking for your family?
Latin Man: Yes
Me: They’re in Texas, just follow the smell.
Latin Man: What do you mean by that?
Me: I mean they’ll smell like the clay ground in Tyler.
Latin Man: What kind of racist shit is that?
Me: No, no, just follow the smell of clay and you’ll find home.

The Latin man is confused by the statement and pissed but he and his friend turn to leave. After they leave my sister and a group of others turn to leave. It’s the middle of the night. I have bags but my sister carries nothing. The grandmother runs to catch us and says that Mia (the sister) forgot to hug and kiss her good bye. She then looks at me and says, “She never gives hugs and kisses so I won’t even ask for one.” The two say their good byes then Mia and I get in the car. Mia disappears and I’m with 3 total strangers. A black woman is driving, someone I can’t see is in the front seat, I’m behind the driver (I never sit there) and a white man is beside me. We’re all chatting about how we’ve given up on our family of origin then the white man decides he’d like to use the n-word repeatedly. I say nothing (that would never happen, that’s I’d say nothing.) He was trying to test the boundaries and see how far he could go.

All three riders disappeared and I was in the parked car with my mother. She was in the passenger’s seat; I was in the back seat. We were about to go to sleep for the night so I took off my shoes and socks. That’s when I noticed 3 small stud earrings pressed in the soul of my foot. I pulled one out and realized it was infected. A thick white puss pressed out of my foot like toothpaste out of a tube. I pulled the other earrings out with the same result. That’s when my mother and I saw 3 nails sticking out of my foot. She asked me how I could have gone this long without feeling it. She thought I might have diabetes. I knew I’d practiced all my life to ignore pain and that’s why I didn’t know I had 3 nails and 3 earrings in my foot. She began pressing and pressing to get out all the infection. From there she started telling me I stink and should take a bath. She said I smelled like I’d been sitting outside all spring and summer long without a bath.

The dream switched to a police station where 2 small children were taken into protective custody from their abusive mother. The two young red curly headed boys (around seven and eight) sat at a long table with crayons and books while their mother was booked. A female officer came in and told the male officer to watch himself because the children lied about who they are and that the oldest boy was wanted for murdering his real mother. The younger boy went into a flashback at the table. He saw the day his brother killed his mother. They were in a town home, there was fire everywhere. The mother screamed in pain, the oldest boy laughed and laughed. Then the younger boy’s clothes caught on fire. He began screaming and begging for help but the oldest boy kept laughing. The front door burst open and a fireman sprayed the youngest and saved him. After his flashback he came back to the present and began colouring with a red crayon. The female officer said the boys were not to be trusted and that the youngest had some sort of weapon. We then saw blood droplets on the walls and the tables. It became apparent that he was emotionally damaged by the murder and fire. I woke up from there.

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Austin

Dream: Three Families and Trust Commentary- Monday, October 06, 2008-9:48AM EST
DREAM: Three Families and Trust-Monday, October 06, 2008-9:48AM EST