The last time she just showed up at my house I thought to myself, I’ve got to protect all of us. I have to change my appearance and make myself look like a guy. I thought looking like a guy would help Morton stay forward. The mother knows Morton by name she’s not going to mess with him. So we completely shaved our head bald, put on army pants and a green T-shirt and were as masculine as can be until it felt safe enough to go back to being us. The woman showed up on my door step Christmas Eve just out of the blue….completely out of the blue.
If the mother is going to try and contact me it’s going to be between the months of October and December. Those are holiday months when all you see around you are commercials that press family. Where ever you go there’s some sort of “home for the holiday’s” ho-hum which I believe is why she does this. It’s been quite some time since her name showed up on my caller ID but it did today. All week end long I’ve gotten Private Caller phone calls. I never answer those, never and I didn’t this week end either. Then she called without blocking her number. I didn’t answer.
At first I was just pissed but then I was like, you know, it figures cause when the shit hits the fan it really hits the fan. Stuff snowballs in my life, it really does so this does not come as too big of a surprise to me that she’d call. One thing I thought of when I walked away from the phone was, “I’m keeping my hair.” This means I will not take any drastic measures to change my appearance so that Morton is out at all times in case she shows up in my yard. I’ve had my plan of action for a long time for when she decides to show up and I’ll keep that plan. I will not open the door. I hope she doesn’t bring my sister with her cause I really don’t want to be forced to turn her away. That’s too hard. I have cats so I should put a sign on the door saying I have attack cats. That alone will have her retreat.
In my sleep she is a threat to me. In my memory she is a threat to me but in waking hours in the year 2008 she’s a coward in heels, nothing more. She haunts my thoughts. I can feel her on me night and day. I shiver in therapy when talking about her but in all actuality she is a 5 foot 11 coward who can not and will not hurt me. It’s 2008 and I will not ever EVER be harmed by her again.
I have to be up for therapy in a few hours. I should get some sleep. Ladybird is hanging in. She’s not out of the woods yet but she’s better than she was a few days ago. The last pup is getting fat and is very fussy. She’s so funny too cause when Ladybird cleans her and helps her use the restroom she fusses and whines the whole time. When she’s nursing she makes these funny sounds. The girl is pitiful but cute. Ladybird sleeps a lot but I’ve had her get up and go outside with me. I’d like to keep what little muscle she has left healthy so I want to keep her active, keep her heart strong and all. I don’t push her hard or anything but we’ve been taking a 5 min walk around the yard once per day just to keep her blood flowing and get her some fresh air. Today was a decent day for her I’d say. She doesn’t sleep all day like she did at first. At least now she comes out to see me and she walks around the yard on her own without prompting. She still gets her 5 minute no stop leash walk but she also does a bit of roaming now which is a good thing. After a bit she’s ready to go back and see her pup. The pup has a round black spot right on top of her head. Someone said it looks like a halo so I started calling her Haley Halo.
Joan of Arc
NOTE: (This is a shameless copy/paste note)
I’m not going to post any photos of the pup on the blog right now because of how bad of a condition the mother is in and the fact that she lost 9 out of 10 pups. I don’t want to have a blog full of cute puppy pictures and have people forget the dangerous situation because people are irresponsible and don’t spay/neuter. I don’t want the cuteness of puppies to overshadow the struggling Ladybird is having. She’s doing better but this is nothing short of ridiculous. The father should have been neutered and she should have been spayed.
Snowball Effect - Tuesday, October 21, 2008-1:29AM EST
Haley Halo! That’s sooooooooooooo cute!!!
Pictures… I wanna see pictures!
I want to see pictures too. I’m glad the last pup is doing well and Ladybird is recovering. So sorry about the other pups.
You sound well prepared to deal with your mother. Stay strong. You’ll do just fine. A backup, plan B could be a big “Quarantined” sign on the front door - LOL
“Quarantined” sign
LOL I like it. LOL
Is it my computer or is this blog loading tragically slow?
Austin
Your blog didn’t load slow for me.
Good grief, if my mother called or simply appeared on my doorstep I believe I’d be a mess. If I had to look at her I think I’d have a heart attack.
Good for you that you have a plan of action already in mind. I have none, and I should for when my mother comes for the holidays.
I like how you take care of yourself and your system. I’ve said that before; it never ceases to amaze me how well you look out for your own. I need to follow your example a bit more.
I’m glad Ladybird seems to be rallying. Haley Halo? That’s a cute name (as well as quite original.)
When it rains it pours….but I’ve got an umbrella….you do too.
Years ago I would have picked up and moved but not now. This is my home and I’m staying. We are no longer infants in our healing process, you and I, which means we realize we have choices and can make adult decisions based on reason, justice and love for what is right. Self protection is right, just and reasonable.
Peace
Austin
It sound slike you’re handling the snowball. Kudos to you for that!
I’m sorry about the other pups, but glad Ladybird and the Haley are recovering. *offers hugs to you and scritches to the canines*
“she’s a coward”–that, as Shaq is reputed to have said about Paul Pierce, is the (expletive deleted) truth.
I didn’t know she shows up at your HOUSE. How dare she? But that’s just how a coward would act, I guess. My own mother’s never done that yet–she’s too narcissistic for that–but every holiday season she tries to send my brother and my ex-husband on salvos to make me feel like shit. I cut off contact with my brother for three years over this. We recently started a limited communication again and the first thing I told him is that anything about the parents is OFF LIMITS. He is not to do their dirty work and should I see him doing it we will go back into no contact. We’ll see what happens this season.
I feel like people don’t say “How dare you” enough any more. Or “Who do you think you are?” People used to say things like this when the occasion called for it. I think nowadays we’re all so conditioned to not just peg people directly on the spot for their arrogance and delusional beliefs. It’s something that should be brought back–
waiting eagerly for puppy pictures too,
wily
wily you have email
I just found out that my bio father died in june, I was scanning obits, I know I am weird, whatever. He was my monster to deal with every year, this year I don’t have to deal with that stress…heck I might even enjoy the holidays for the first time for real without faking it. I’m glad he’s gone, it’s a relief.That makes the last of them, my monsters, I am free. Freedom is what you do with whats been done to you. I have some plans for my new found freedom. All my love to momma and baby, Godspeed to her recovery and continued health.
Austin,
I am so very sorry about Ladybird and the puppies.
All I can say is thank God my mother would NEVER just show up. First, she doesn’t know where I live but also she would not put herself in the place of being told to leave. Her ego couldn’t take it.
Good luck to you and WAY TO GO for looking out for yourself and having a plan.
Hugs,
Tamara
I like your plan of not answering the door. Good for you!! You owe her nothing.