Daily Archive for October 27th, 2008

Baby Blue

Published on October 27, 2008 in Art Therapy, PTSD and Secrets and Confessions. 1 Comment

I know I didn’t smile a lot as a child. I never saw the point of plastering on a smile for show. I hope my sister can forgive me for thinking she was weak because she always fell in line. Maybe she doesn’t even know because she was too busy smiling big and bright…still, her eyes were as black as mine.

The three drawings together are called Leaflets because in the original drawings the hair is drawn as leaves.

Crazy Lives Here

Published on October 27, 2008 in Depression, Mental Health and PTSD. 9 Comments

I just got finished telling a friend not to be so hard on herself during this rough time but you know what? I’m a hypocrite. I laid in bed last night tearing myself a new one for the difficulties I’ve had as of late. I usually go through a period where I think I can’t do anything right and everything I touch gets broken or messed up. I know to leave things alone and let that spell fizzle down. It always does but it’s terrible waiting and feeling like such a failure. During these times I think to myself, “Your house is a mess. Why can’t you keep it clean?” I think, “You’re such a pig. You’re worthless you know that?” I really say horrible things to myself. I find at times I’m grateful I live alone so no one can see how “sick I am” cause if they came here regularly they’d be able to look at my things and know this is one messed up woman. I figure it’s obvious, plane as day, written on the walls that the occupant is crazy. I’m just happy not a lot of people come here.

If people could see the way I fret at night. If they could see me pace back and forth through the apartment. If they could watch me hold my head or rock back and forth they’d feel pity and then I’d feel bad. I’d want to apologize for being crazy. Continue reading ‘Crazy Lives Here’