In the ninth grade we had to have a note from home allowing sex education classes. I never got one of those notes. I never took that class but I did take basic Health instead. In one session we talked about mental illness then watched a show about Schizophrenia. I recall the teacher breaking us into groups of 5 and telling us that 1 out of 5 people would suffer from some form of mental illness in their lifetime. She always broke us into groups to explain statistics such as this. We were in groups to determine who would be pregnant before they were ready. We were in groups to determine who would have AIDS, who would have another type of STD, so on and so forth. I recall thinking, what if my group is actually the 5 that will not be affected by these things? My thinking was, I’m in the safe five because I’m not going down that path. I’m in the safe five because I’ll watch my association. I’ll do what I know I should do and what is right instead of simply falling in line.
Even at a young age I refused to be a statistic. I saw better for myself even then. In the middle of horror I saw better for myself. I try to think about this drive I had early on when I’m up late like now thinking what a waste I’ve become. Drive, determination and focus got me through unmentionable things. That little person was one tough cookie. I can’t help but smile at my young self sometimes.
I need once again the spark that separates me from the sheep.
Joan of Arc
The Safe Five-Wednesday, October 29, 2008-1:49AM EST
I can’t imagine you ever being a sheep, much less being a waste. One of the character traits I admire most about you is that you don’t follow the crowd. You take the hard stance when needed, and you’re not afraid to call things by their proper names.
Austin a sheep? No way!
I agree you are definitely not a sheep or a statistic. You are certainly not a waste. I still see that drive, that inner determination to better yourself and your life. I really do still see that in you. I admire that about you!