Dolls and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

I’ve been working my hardest to keep moving and not think too much on the last few weeks….or months. I think I’m back to my normal pain level which is manageable for the most part. This lets me get back to doll making and painting and such.

I also tried again to use the stick pins. I can sometimes but other times I can’t. One thing I started doing was keeping count of how many I used. I write the number down on scrap material then sew the numbered scraps together like a tiny little quilt. I thought it would be kind of a cool thing to frame after it gets larger. Anyway….

The doll pictured here is called Mia. She’s 26 inches tall, she sits up on her own and her head stands up on its own. This hand sewn rag doll is wearing a black and white checkered dress with black heart pockets and decorative buttons. Her white blouse has small white bows on the shoulders. To finish off her outfit she’s wearing white stockings and black patent leather shoes. What I like most about Mia is her little curly afro which has itsy-bitsy tiny little specks of silver glitter sewn right into the yarn. When I saw it I knew it would be great for hair. I have to say I like her little fro.   So here she is, Mia from the Charline Doll Collection.

As far as the therapeutic aspect of doll making, it’s slow in coming. There are different steps I’d like to take with the dolls and different things I’d like to be able to do without freaking out. One new step I took is using the sewing machine.  At first I was literally shaking. My knee was bouncing a hundred miles per hour and I started rocking. I figured that short little session was enough for a bit. A few days later I went back to it and just kept trying. It’s getting easier but not easy. So far I’ve got two smaller dolls nearly completed. Both are white, one is 16 inches the other is 20 inches. I think I find the most joy when sewing by hand so I’m certainly not going to give that up.

Doll making is very much therapy (which is why I talk about the process on the blog after I’ve posted one). Sometimes I can see my younger self in them. When I make the African-American rag dolls I sometimes get lost in the eyes which I think is why the eyes are generally large. When I paint the face I try to give her a pout but not a frown.  I absolutely do not want that fake dolly smile but I don’t want her to look sad either. I’m going for cute and maybe pouty.  I also want them dressed in formal clothes and to be very girly. (I am working on a boy doll though.) I think I do better when the doll isn’t whimsical. For some reason I don’t do whimsical very well. I think more along the lines of formal, flowing and frilly so I’m going to try to stick to that.

When it comes to putting these dolls together I shouldn’t be so hard on myself if she’s not totally perfect. I put love into these dolls. When is love ever perfect? I hand pick their clothing, walk the isles to find the perfect hair, get little shoes for their stocking feet and ribbons for the hair. I should give myself a break and not harp on every single solitary thing I see wrong with the doll. This is a learning process, one I mostly enjoy.

I have several goals related to doll making that directly affect progress with PTSD.  I know why its hard for me to dress the doll and have her face covered for just a second. That short period of time use to wreak havoc on me but its getting easier. If for some reason I stick myself I’m now able to keep my head about me and not flip out or flashback to trauma. However, I know where each and every needle is at all times. As I said, I count the stick pins I use and I write the number down. I don’t want to try to remember the number. I want written verification so I’m not on the floor looking for strays until my head blows up. It’s easier to just use an even number and write it down.

For my Post Traumatic Stress Disorder I do both talk therapy desensitization as well as hands on desensitization. For me they are both affective. I have psychotherapy twice a week and work on dolls no more than twice a week. Since there are many, many issues to work through there will be many more dolls to come.

Mia – African American Rag Doll and Therapy Doll Gallery

All my dolls can be seen by clicking this link.

I accept private requests from individuals for therapy dolls, inner child dolls, child therapy dolls, dolls for adults in psychotherapy as well as play dolls and bears. Please use my sidebar contact address for your special order.

Smiles, hugs and all that jazz,

Austin