The dream started out at the house I lived in during the 4th grade. I stepped outside the house to walk Captain. He pulled just a tiny bit and the leash dropped from my hands. At the bottom of the stairs (which don’t actually exist) he greeted a young woman with a Bible in her hand. The young woman wasn’t too pleased to see such a large dog walking towards her so she took off running to the house next door. It was obvious she didn’t live there. Then her friend came up to shoo Captain away with her cane. She did so gently but firmly, more to get me to respond faster than to scare him. I hobbled down the stairs and apologized for dropping his leash. I told the lady I’m disabled and wasn’t able to get down the stairs faster than I did. I told her Captain would never hurt her because of how well trained he is. She said he couldn’t be too trained if he broke free from me and came after her. I told her he didn’t come after her. When I told him to sit he did. He didn’t move after that, not even when the lady tried to shoo him away. She then wanted to argue with me over if I should use the word trained or well behaved.
Monthly Archive for February, 2009
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I talked to a friend last night about what happened with Brody. She said, “ya know, it would be different if he were your dog.” It’s true, it would be different. I’d still be pissed as all get out but it wouldn’t be coupled with resentment and feeling used…. I feel like I’ve been backed into a corner with no alternative but to submit. Here’s this dog that gets on my nerves half the time and the other half wraps himself around my heart strings. Then his owner is a total jackass who I have to beg to get food from or a leash or collar. Anything that dog needs I have to beg and nash my teeth to get. It’s exhausting. Then to have Brody destroy stuff in puppy fashion makes it all harder to deal with. But like Bird said, if you take out the resentment and feeling used then what you have is an overactive puppy who destroyed an irreplaceable item. That will take some time to square with but when you add the feeling attached to being used it makes it all feel like too much.
I fed him. I trained him to sit, lay down, walk on a leash and be gentle with people. He’s got his basic commands down as well as housetraining but he’s bored stiff. He needs another dog around, someone to play with… and he needs to be fixed. Continue reading ‘Brody Boy’
This is a story about a two rival basketball teams that supported a young boy who only hours before lost his mother to cancer. The story starts off with the death of a young woman but it shows just how fast people can put their “differences” aside and support one another in need. I love this story.
Amid the grieving, a rare act of sportsmanship
Of the moment the rival coach said, “They may not remember our record 20 years from now, but they’ll remember what happened in that gym that night.”
Man’s best friend saves another of man’s best friend. He sees another dog hit by a car. He goes to the middle of the highway and Continue reading ‘Beautiful and Insipiring’
My eyes are hardly open right now cause I’m so tired. I just wanted to post something real quick before I go back to bed.
First off I’m physically exhausted. My sleep is still crap. I told Dr. D today that since Captain died I haven’t been able to wear my ear plugs at night. This means I hear every single sound and I’m not as able to relax and let myself sleep. I don’t know how many times I can say I’m exhausted and make myself clearer than the last time. I’m always on the verge of tears anymore…. is it sleep deprivation, grief and a mix of other mental health issues and life issues? I don’t know but I feel like I’m on a tight rope.
My roommate just got home so I need to explain to him why Brody is in his part of the yard. We have two separate yards. Brody was in mine but I need a break. Continue reading ‘Me’
You have no idea what goes on in this head of mine, if you did you’d lock me away for good. If you only knew the dreams I never mention you’d think me a monster. If you had any idea at all what I do behind closed doors just to make it through the day you’d ask me to stay behind closed doors and not taint the sunlight with my filth. For this I am sorry.
The slightest detail of things sends me running and someone inside is forced out to sit and say things they had no part in. it’s not fair to ask a young child to tell you things we’re this ashamed of, things she didn’t even do nor did she ask to recount. It’s just when it comes up we think we can tell you but then panic sets in and we run. Out pops a little girl who should never have to say those things. To her I am sorry. Continue reading ‘When Blood No Longer Clots’
Conversation Clip 1
Fife: You have it good here.
Austin: You have it good with me here.
I told him the price he’s asking is a bit high for what I’m getting. I mentioned how my floor slants and how cold it is cause the windows are old and drafty. I mentioned that he hasn’t made one repair to the house since I moved in and that I clean up after his messes. He’s a bit offended that I challenged the rent increase because he hasn’t done anything to a house that’s falling down around us.
Clip 2
Fife: Should you eat that? It’s packed full of calories and you’ll gain more weight.
Austin: I’ll watch my weight, you watch your mouth.
He gained 4 pounds so now he’s all over me about what I eat. That’s the wrong thing to do.
Clip 3
Fife: A guy in my hiking group wants to know if you’ll take care of his dog until he can find him a home. His roommate ran off and left him.
Austin: I don’t know, let me think about it. (three second pause) No, that’s not gonna happen.
I guess Fife Junior spread the word about the girl that he’s screwing royally. Perhaps “word on the street is” if you want to abandon a dog leave it at Austin’s house. What the hell?
Here’s my latest rag doll. She’s a sweet girl with medium brown hair, medium blue eyes and a blue dress with lace and roses. She’s got two flowers in her hair and eyes that say, “Hug me.”
I used a different type of yarn for the hair than I’ve ever used before. It’s a very soft brushed yarn. I think it was a good choice. Also, I stopped using the same medium as I did for the lips on other dolls because I wasn’t that impressed with how it turned out. The lips on this sweety are done in fabric paint then heat sealed. Another change I’ve made to the dolls is that I’ve shortened the arms to my homemade pattern. This makes her a lot more in proportion. Like the other dolls her head stands up on hit’s own.
In the future I may try to figure out how to round off the hands and feet and I’ve strongly considered learning to make doll shoes. Buying shoes for the dolls can get expensive so I’d rather avoid that if at all possible or it’ll drive the cost up.
So, here she is, a little bit of sweetness excitedly looking forward to her new adoptive home.
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