Like clock work I have an attitude Monday and Wednesday (therapy days). My living situation allows me to be borderline combative if anyone should have the nerve to speak to me. If I don’t want to talk to my roommates on those days I don’t have to. I don’t need to put dinner on the table for anyone but myself and I don’t need to put on a smile to keep from upsetting people around me. Nope, I have space to be as irritated as I want to be. I have a separate entrance, a separate yard and I’m able to totally close off my area from the other two people that live here. They don’t have to see how ugly it can get when I’m like this.
The other day it occurred to me that the animals I live with allow me to live how I want to without having to answer to a human being. Without my ex here I don’t have to have the television on. I don’t have to deal with the radio if I don’t want to hear it. Noise sometimes gets to me. Even the slightest every day noise grates at me including the human voice. I don’t want the noise. I also don’t want to be touched if I don’t feel like being touched. I no longer have to greet anyone with a kiss or hug. When I get up from nightmares there’s no good morning required. There’s no eye contact to make, no loving touch to offer or daily requests to hear. Living with pets means I don’t have to make a lot of adjustments to my daily living habits. I don’t have to adjust my living space for anyone but myself. I can be selfish and self absorbed.
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