One would think I’d be use to this by now but I’m not. I’m always nervous the night before therapy, tonight is no different. Since about 7pm I’ve run around like a chicken with my head cut off. I made two different dinners. The dog ate the first one cause I decided I didn’t want it. While eating what I kept for myself I thought ya know, Salisbury steak would have been better.
I wanted to take a walk but I also wanted to stay home and clean. I wanted to paint and sew. Decision making seemed nearly impossible. Hours upon hours later and lots of anxiety attacks later it occurred to me that I have clonapin. It’s never my first thought and obviously not my second or third one. I watched the Zurich Golf Tournament, completed 2 paintings, walked the dog twice, washed the dog, made dinner, did laundry and dishes all before I remembered I can take medication to ease my anxiety. I should write myself a note: Drug yourself woman, you have that option.
Here is one painting I did, below is a close up view of the other. The full version of Night Hold can be found here. I finally included my mousy bear in a painting. That’s his little head sticking up.
Art title: Night Hold
Art by: F. Magdalene Austin
That is such a powerful image.