Sundrip Journals
I want the woman who yells at potted plants at the library.
Yes, she’s clearly troubled, but she’s not helpless.
She doesn’t take any shit from vegetables, for instance.
We don’t have to take crap off people… or vegetation.
This comic is from A Softer World . Their archives are here. After reading a few entries I realized this isn’t entirely a comic site. Many entries will hit close to home.
Austin
I wonder what he’s thinking? Hmmm. What could it be?
I wish I could go outside and roll in something dead.
A Dog and A Stick
Staring : Gustav Snuffaluphagus Austin, Co- staring: several toys and a stick
(cue cartoon music)
I’ve got a leather football, a leather baseball glove and…hmm, let me think, Continue reading ‘Pooch Thoughts’
I heard the news on the 3rd anniversary of my grandfather’s death (today) that the school and orphanage he grew up in is going to close. This is the same orphanage I was taken to year after year as a child and told I’d live there when my mother got tired of me. I think one of the reasons I’m a bit upset about its closing is that I really liked that place. I hoped she’d leave us there.
The building will stand and have military connections but it won’t be the place he grew up in and the place I hoped to be sent. It’s as if a landmark of my life is being knocked down. This is where hope was, this is where I can sometimes go back to in my mind and think of how different it could have been had I lived there. The significance of losing an orphanage with so much of my grandfather’s history and mine feels … well it feels like his life has been erased and the hope I held never existed. I know I’ve taken the closing personally but so much took place there that I loved. To see it go really hurts.
Part of me sees myself losing the imaginary grip I had on being able to reach back into my past, change one thing and get a better outcome. I know I can’t go back and force my mother to send me there like she threatened to. I cannot force her to leave me there after each yearly visit but knowing the building is as I left it somehow soothed me. I guess I was holding on to old bricks hoping for a better home in the future.
What the hell was I thinking this morning when I chased that guy off my property? What was he thinking when he looked dead at me then looked away with no concern at all. It was as if I had no right to wonder why he was in my yard. When he looked away from me as if he could sit there as long as he wanted and it didn’t’ matter how I felt about it the whole situation turned ugly. This is what happened:
This morning before therapy a guy pulled into the area of my yard that isn’t fenced. The dog barked at him for a good long time. Finally I went out to see what he wanted. He wasn’t on the street nor was he in the driveway. He was actually parked on the grass talking on the phone. I couldn’t get his attention from the porch so I walked up to the fence. He looked over at me then away again like he didn’t give a rat’s ass that he was on my damn grass or that I was standing in front of him. Enter major attitude!
My first response was to throw something at his car. That kind of scared me cause I came real close to throwing my cigarette lighter. I thought, Oh no you didn’t just dismiss me AND park in my grass. In a very stupid move I decided to leave the safety of my fence and approach his vehicle. Continue reading ‘Looking For A Fight’
I finally decided what I want to do with my stimulus check.
Because my family once had 5 generations of drivers with Geico as well as getting other discounts I only pay $23.00 a month for a great amount of coverage. It ‘taint your basis liability coverage either. If I go ahead and pay them 3 months I’ll be able to free up that amount for a time. I also decided to purchase a large amount of laundry supplies, a few containers of coffee and of course art supplies. I could really use a few good paint brushes. I figure since Micheal’s Craft Store always sends me coupons for 40% of my purchase I can buy a few brushes. I also intend to get more sponges to paint with (from Dollar Tree) as well as 3 new sketch books ($5 each). I end up buying a sketch book every month because I go through them so quickly. Between coffee, insurance, sketch books and laundry supplies I’ll free up about $60.00 for the next three months. I wanted to make this check work for me long term so that’s how I intend to make that happen.
There’s no way on earth I’ll bring that check in this house without getting something I want. A bit ago I had a conversation with a friend about spending money on myself that I don’t really have to spend. I told her purchasing necessities helps us through the day but they don’t do a dang thing for helping us get through the night. This is where my art comes in. I find it therapeutic but I also enjoy it. I love the sound of a paint brush against paper. I love the hand movements and the soulful, musical and poetic flow of paint gliding from one side of canvas to the other. I absolutely love it. So yeah, art supplies WILL be purchased.
When I showed Dr. D the recent painting of the figure holding his hands in the air with hearts in it he said it sort of reminded him of a crucifixion. This prompted Renea (our little 9 year old Bible scholar) to pop out and give him details on the inaccuracy of the word crucifixion. He then asked a few questions: Was religion important to your mother? How important was it to you? What church did you belong to while growing up? Why did you add hearts to the hands in your art piece?
Instead of telling him about our families religious affiliations Renea began telling him about different people I/we find inspiring. The Apostle Peter, Paul, Moses, King Josiah, etc. We talked about Constantine, the Roman Empire, the differences in the Hebrew Scriptures and the Christian Greek Scriptures. We talked about the culture of Ancient Israel as well as age appropriate behaviors of the apostles. Most of the session was spent with Renea talking while Dr. D listened. Once this 9 year old gets on a roll with Bible history it’s hard to get her to stop. It’s her favorite subject. She told him how she read the Bible from cover to cover in a year and that she liked being able to identify people and their lineage, their profession, their personality traits, trials, failures and ultimately the success or failure of their life. There was a point to it all which was related to the question about the art piece but because Bible history is her favorite subject she took the long way to answer the question, why did we add hearts to the hands.
The first two paintings are multi-media. They’re acrylic and coloured pencil on paper. The third is the same with several digital enhancements. I like the middle one best because the hands are so large with hearts in the middle. I think I’m finally okay with the original art therapy piece (shown first in the series). I think I’ve painted out the worst of it.So here it is, this is how I painted the pain to a manageable level.
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As your child I had no power at all. Continue reading ‘In My Hands’
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