Daily Archive for June 4th, 2009

Be of Good Cheer

Published on June 4, 2009 in Art and Gratitude Journal. 2 Comments

It took me a few minutes to process the fact that I will not receive a stimulus check. I was pissed big time to find this out. I was going to get stuff to make this money work for me instead of it being a one time payment someplace. I had plans for that money, man did I have plans for that money.

The other day I told a good friend of mine that I’m tired of the ups and downs of life. Something horrible happens followed by something good, something horrible, something great, something devastating, something phenomenal, on and on until all I want to do is go to bed. I think today I see things a little bit differently.

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Teddy Bear Lost

Published on June 4, 2009 in Dissociative Identity Disorder, Mental Health, Morton's Pride, PTSD and Soapbox. 3 Comments Tags: .

The other day at the Disabled American Veteran’s discount store I realized Mousy wasn’t in my pocket. I freaked! I went around the store looking for him but I couldn’t find him. All these thoughts went through my head. What if someone tries to buy him? What if I have to take my bear from the arms of a toddler. I’ll do it!

I frantically went to the front of the store to tell my friend who is also a cashier there that I couldn’t find the Mouse. My frantic six year old said to  me, “I want this motherfucker on lock down.”  Not only was I stunned she said it I had to correct her language and explain to her that they wouldn’t announce a Code Adam for a teddy bear. Amber Alert’s don’t apply to plush.

I went up to my friend with eyes as big as saucers and tried to explain what I was looking for. I realized I was just babbling. I couldn’t get real words out of my mouth.  I couldn’t get out a description of the bear or his red scarf. All I could say was “gone. he’s gone.” I was totally freaked out then a lady came up to me and told me she found him on the floor by the toy isle.

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