Annoyingly Cheerful Personality Disorder (ACPD)

News Room / FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful

Positive people don’t annoy me but excessively chipper people do. You know the type -  they whistle a tune as they skip down the street wearing those rose colored glasses. You know the type.  This video from The Onion shows such individuals are sick and in need of medication. They stress that it’s time to erase the stigma of getting  perky people help. I think we should take part in this movement to make all excessively cheerful people normal by helping to destroy the cheer they feel. We should counteract their rays of sunshine with  disparaging comments and attacks on their person. They’re sick and it’s for their own good.  It’ll be difficult but with persistent negative feedback for everything they say, we as a community can assist with bringing everyone around us down. If these measures fail we can always just drug the happy people with this promising new medication called Despondex. Despondex may help relieve symptoms of Annoyingly Cheerful Personality Disorder (ACPD).

Perhaps you suffer from ACPD but you don’t want to take a synthetic medicine. There are natural ways to ensure depression such as keeping a bad diet with little or no exercise or check your bank account balance daily. That’s sure to bring many to the depths of depression.  Whether you choose a synthetic cure or a natural cure you’ll find there is a way to bring you down quickly with soul crushing results.

Despondex – Erase the stigma of getting chirpy people help!
(language at the very end of the video)

J of A <— up way too late