Daily Archive for June 14th, 2009

Bad Luck

Published on June 14, 2009 in Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Emotions and Trust. 0 Comments

Sometimes it feels as if I have a black cloud over my head. It not only rains on me but anyone who stands close to me. I feel like I ruin people’s lives, like I’m bad luck.

bad luck

Art details: The girl with wild green hair is standing in a red field with a blue sky. Growing around her are 3 larger than life flowers. She’s got two heads, one is large with orange colored lips the second is a child’s head inside the mouth of the first head. She’s holding a large sucker. She’s got holes in her hands and feet. There’s a blue sun with a red eye watching her. She’s standing in a rain puddle.

fma

Chocolate and Slasher Films

Published on June 14, 2009 in For the Record. 7 Comments Tags: .

Slasher films are usually unappealing to me. I’ve never seen Scream or any of the Friday the 13th movies. I’ve never seen Saw, Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Psycho. I’m not into bloody movies at all. Heck, I even turn my head during CSI when they show what it looks like when a screw driver enters human flesh or what a human brain looks like from a nasal cavity view. They like to do close up gross outs stuff but I turn my head. I can’t stand that, however, and I don’t know how this happened, but I actually watch Harper’s Island. I’m guilty. I watch that pathetic excuse for a show.  I look forward to the show. Sunday is golf day, Saturday is Harper’s Island. Everything I need to do has to be done by 9PM EST or it may not get done cause Harper’s Island is coming on. I even refuse to take phone calls at that time, that’s how bad I am about this show. It’s sad, I know.

Here are my Harper’s Island thoughts. Last night we learned that Abby’s mother and the original killer Wakefield were lovers but that didn’t keep him from killing the woman.  No love there I guess. Everyone thinks the love child is Abby but I think it might be Jimmy Mance or even the groom Henry Dunn. Either way, the Sheriff, Abby’s father (?) or should I say Abby’s mother’s husband failed to mention his wife’s little indiscretion resulting in birth. Tisk, tisk, tisk. Tramp! So now everyone thinks Abby is Wakefield’s daugther. I doubt it.

Continue reading ‘Chocolate and Slasher Films’

Dreams of Blame and Guilt

Published on June 14, 2009 in Borderline Personality Disorder, Depression, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dreams and Relationships. 3 Comments

I had a dream that Fife Senior asked me to take care of his plants for a few months. I told him I wasn’t sure how long I’d be here. He seemed shocked so I reminded him that I’m moving. He got really angry and told me I wouldn’t have to move if only I hadn’t put my artwork out for his daughter to destroy. I asked if he thought it was my fault and he said yes. I put it out there, if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be in this mess. He added that had I not made such a big deal about my doors being blocked with boxes his daughter wouldn’t have had to go off on me and we could have avoided all of this. All I had to do was keep my art work up and keep my mouth closed but I couldn’t do that.

I don’t remember much else of that dream but I know over all I feel responsible for this mess. That’s off I know but it’s how I feel. It was suggested to me that Fife’s daughter may feel a bit of jealousy towards me. I’m confused by that. Her father is the one who fought tooth and nail to see his kids. Her father is the one who in Night and Shining Armor fashion rushes in to rescue her. He made sure he saw her when the family broke up. He put her through college, he dotes on her, the girl can do no wrong. What could she be jealous about? Continue reading ‘Dreams of Blame and Guilt’