Chocolate and Slasher Films

Slasher films are usually unappealing to me. I’ve never seen Scream or any of the Friday the 13^th movies. I’ve never seen Saw, Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Psycho. I’m not into bloody movies at all. Heck, I even turn my head during CSI when they show what it looks like when a screw driver enters human flesh or what a human brain looks like from a nasal cavity view. They like to do close up gross outs stuff but I turn my head. I can’t stand that, however, and I don’t know how this happened, but I actually watch Harper’s Island. I’m guilty. I watch that pathetic excuse for a show.  I look forward to the show. Sunday is golf day, Saturday is Harper’s Island. Everything I need to do has to be done by 9PM EST or it may not get done cause Harper’s Island is coming on. I even refuse to take phone calls at that time, that’s how bad I am about this show. It’s sad, I know.

Here are my Harper’s Island thoughts. Last night we learned that Abby’s mother and the original killer Wakefield were lovers but that didn’t keep him from killing the woman.  No love there I guess. Everyone thinks the love child is Abby but I think it might be Jimmy Mance or even the groom Henry Dunn. Either way, the Sheriff, Abby’s father (?) or should I say Abby’s mother’s husband failed to mention his wife’s little indiscretion resulting in birth. Tisk, tisk, tisk. Tramp! So now everyone thinks Abby is Wakefield’s daugther. I doubt it.

At first I thought the killer was the Sheriff but I don’t think so anymore. At this point I think the killer is Jimmy, Abby’s high school sweetheart who is somewhat pissed that Abby never made contact after she left the island when her mom was killed.  One thing is for certain, that nine year old Madison is freaky. That girl has issues. Her character was written to bring chills to your spine and she does. My, my, my I wouldn’t want to be in a room alone with that kid. Really though, I hope they lay off having her say, “One by one” every single commercial. It’s getting old. We know they’re being picked off one by one, please stop having this psycho kid remind us in her monotone voice. And get her some help. I’m sure there’s a child psychologist just dying to get their hands on this Looney Tune.

So anyway, I think the killer is Abby’s old boyfriend Jimmy.

Before my show came on and I shut out the world I made myself a super dessert sure to cost $4 or more at Denny’s. I went there the other night for nachos. Wonderful stuff. Last night I made double chocolate chip fudge cookies. I added two scoops of ice cream, homemade whipped cream, caramel and extra walnuts on top. I then sat down to watch this mind numbing drama about people dying in horrific and senseless ways.

What is happening to me? First I started watching Big Brother now Harper’s Island. What’s next Days of Our Lives, As the World Turns? Guiding Light? Will I shut the world out and gorge on chocolate while watching Young and the Restless? What’s happened to me? I have no excuses, nothing to offer in the way of an explanation. It is what it is. I like junk TV ….. and decedent desserts.

Chocolate and Slasher Films – Sunday, June 14, 2009 – 1:38PM EST