The meeting took place in the kitchen of a house I don’t think I’ve ever been in. Everyone was stark naked, openly exposed as it were. I was dripping wet and toweled off as my mother made her announcement. The mother called the meeting to let everyone know she’d had enough of her two daughters and was moving out. Two teenage boys (black, unknown) told the mother if she moved in with them they’d take care of her and wouldn’t abandon her needs like her daughters did. She said she was grateful but wanted to go live with an older lady until my sister and I got ourselves together enough to accept her back into the household. My sister excused herself and wasn’t seen again in the dream until the very end.
The next thing I remember is walking through a garden plot towards a small resting spot where I overheard my mother talking on the phone. She told the listener that she was leaving and her girls would have to make do the best they could. She said we’d struggle without her but that’s what we needed in order to appreciate her. She said she needed to take time for herself and that with everything going on she needed to get away and gather her thoughts, take time just for her. She then went on and on about how poorly we’d do without her. …I snapped… I told her if she was so depressed and unable to cope she had options and could go talk to an elder, an older woman or seek counseling. I told her she chose to pity herself and close herself off. ” Holding my mostly eaten bologna sandwich in the air I added, “As soon as you walk out the door I’m going to throw down in the kitchen and make us a real meal. We’ll never eat another lunch meat sandwich, ever!” I informed her we’d thrive without her. As I told her this I emphasized the word thrive with a head and eye roll. We will thriiivveee without you. Go, leave, walk out the door and don’t come back, I told her.
As I did this she held the phone up so the listener could hear how disrespectful her youngest daughter is. The mother asked if she could hear all I was saying. I asked if she heard me say the mother had options. She chose not to get help. She chose to wallow and to drink in self pity. She chose to blame everything on her children from the beginning until now and she is choosing to walk out on them as teenagers. Did she hear that too?
The scene then changed to the mother trying to let me know just how tired she was of me over my sister. I walked away from her into the hallway of my school in the 8th grade. The further I got from her disasters occurred. I could no longer see her but I could hear her voice and hear her tell me how she’d simply had enough of us. I walked down the hall as classes were passing. There were children everywhere. Some came up quietly on an escalator but it sped up and forced them all to jump to safety. Someone started shooting and threw everyone into a fleeing panic. It was mostly dark behind me but light in front of me. The panicked children ran towards the mother into darkness. I walked calmly in the opposite direction towards the exit door where there was light outside. My sister was in the crowd that ran towards her.
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DREAM: Family Meeting Pt1- Saturday, August 15, 2009 12:53PM EST
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