24 « August « 2009 « The People Behind My Eyes

I write Gratitude Monday entries to document positive changes and improvements in my life. I write about pleasing observations or even to list things that touched me in some way during the weak. This entry here will start off with Gus’ very bad day and end with me smiling and grateful to have him and his furry little sister in my life. Click the category Gratitude Monday on the sidebar to see other entries or view the entry which explains further how this category got started and the importance of it. So, here goes…..

Gratitude Monday – Gus’ Very Bad Day
August 24th, 2009

I think Gus decided to abandon all training and be a total butthead today. Earlier he robbed my roommate of his peanut butter sandwich then a few minutes ago on our walk he broke his choker chain in half, took off and chased a golf cart. The people didn’t stop. They drove faster and Gus ran faster. I called his name and he came right back to me. I thought both things were funny but still, Gus isn’t having such a great day when it comes to behavior. It’s only 5:30 which means there’s a lot of the day left. What else can he get into? Lord only knows.

This weekend we’re getting a new fence put in the yard so he has an area to play in away from the general area where people come and go. This is much better for me because it means I can see him at all times. If he goes around the side of the house I can’t see him and that worries me.

Here are a few things I say to Gus:

Continue reading ‘Gus’ Very Bad Day’

It feels odd that I’m about to turn 38 years old. I think I expected to have a hard time this year because last year I was a tad bit depressed, but not so much this year. I don’t feel the dread I felt last year or shame for living. I don’t want to curse God for allowing me to survive nor am I overly grateful that he did. I guess I’m just saying at this point I don’t have the same feelings I did surrounding my birthday. I still don’t celebrate it (for religious reasons) but at this point I don’t loath this date or feel foolish for having the nerve to be alive.

One thing I find interesting as I approach 40 is that despite the age of my body we usually feel young at heart. I know my body itself feels old and tired but I think there’s a youthfulness to us connected to our alters. We only two alters inside over the age of thirty-five. The one that is out most (me, Joan of Arc) is and has always been 28 years old. Maureen and Robert are nineteen. Renea is nine years old. They spend a lot of time forward as do the twins who are 5 years old. With these changes I have an idea of what it’s like to be a teenage girl, a teenage boy, and a child. I know what it feels like when a 35 year old male is forward but I don’t know what it feels like to be a 38 year old woman.

Continue reading ‘Thirty-Eight In This Body’