I would love to be a mother but I fear passing down whatever it is in my bloodline that makes us all sadistic. My great-grandmother, my grandmother, my mother and her sisters all have a sexually sadistic side to them the likes of which I’ve never heard of in one single family. I asked my therapist if ever Jeffery Dohmer had a child would that child have homicidal tendencies or be a sexual sadist. He said the kid would more than likely be okay. He said that sadism isn’t passed down genetically but still I worry about it because I know I have a sadistic side of my own. I told him even if I can’t pass sadism to my child I’d still like to see my bloodline die out.
Monthly Archive for September, 2009
There’s good stuff and here it is:
- I’m thankful for Gus’ soft ears and wagging tail. I believe the addition of a wagging happy tail is a blessing all on its own. He’s happy with the most simple things. He’s always willing to snuggle and even puts his paw on mine as I sleep. It’s too sweet.
- I’m soothed by Bella’s purr and given a nice reminder of my own attitude when she chooses to show hers. That girl is the kitty version of me. She’s always running her meow/mouth to complain about something. She kills me! Her energy is contagious and her confidence something to emulate.
- Sales, oh so many sales. I got five (5) DVD’s for a total of $4.50. Here are the movies and my ratings: Brokeback Mountain (B-), Bourne Identity (A+), Bourne Supremacy (B+), Hard Rain (A) and Michael Clayton (B+). All those DVD’s for less than five bucks, how can I not put that on my gratitude list?
- It’s quieter here at home, less chaotic, less tense. The improvement may have lead to the next on my list:
- A break in depression allowing me to see a little sunlight and not shy away from it.
- Encouragement, support and laughter from friends. I’m thankful and grateful for friends that are willing to give me a gentle reality check. Continue reading ‘Gratitude Monday: The Good Stuff’
For a long time I’ve said I don’t have an issue with being a girl with meat on her bones … that is until someone wants me to take my clothes off. That’s when I think to myself, oh man this isn’t good. They’re going to be grossed out. I have cellulite. My breasts don’t stand up like they use to. I’m almost 40 years old. This can’t be pretty. The friend I was talking to about it said:
“Well why not?”
“Because I know what gravity has done to me. It’s cruel. I know what I look like under my clothes and it ain’t pretty, it ain’t sexy.”
“By who standards? Televisions?”
I’ve seen this video I don’t know how many times but it still makes me laugh until tears stream down my face. Listen to the guy wheeze as he laughs after telling the other guy to hold on as they play it in slow motion.
We should have news like this everyday.
It’s Random Memory Friday ladies and gents. So here goes…….
I can’t remember the last time I woke up without a bunch of gunk in my sinuses or remember the last time I blew my nose without seeing excess nicotine. I know I just grossed out all non-smokers but got an agreeing head shake by smokers.
I can’t remember the last time I sat in my second bedroom at this computer without a cloud of smoke around me settling on my clothes, my keyboard, my printer, my screen.
I can’t remember the last time I woke, went through the day and finished it without lighting up or
I didn’t have a table with 6 or 7 lighters collected on it as I walked around the house looking for one.
I haven’t twinged with guilt as a smoke cloud settles on my dog or
Lenora sat behind the driver’s seat unsure of her next move. To her traveling companion she said, “What now, Danielle? Do we wait or drive on? With near abhorrence in her voice she replied, “We’ve been here on the side of the road for 8 days. I seriously doubt she’s coming.”
“She always shows up, why not this time?”
“She’s not coming. Drive on. ”
The gears strip and the car lunged forward then back as Lenora attempted to drive a beat up manual import down a highway going the wrong direction. While wresting with the shift she can hear the tires struggle for traction, vibrate and quake on black pavement. Then bam! One after the other tires explode. Rubber flies across the sky like black crows and lands where it pleases barely missing families on their way to well planned vacations.
Yesterday evening I saw on Redbubble that they were having a sale on calendars. I’d never made a calendar of my art before so I figured I’d put together two. This morning, before a drop of coffee could drip from my IV, I checked my RB stats. That’s when I noticed I’d sold a calendar called Imagination and Color. I was thrilled to see that the very first thing this morning. It’s such an awesome feeling to know that my art is going to hang on a child’s wall. That is so cool to me!
Here are a few screen shots from both calendars. Click the image to make them larger.
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The second calendar I created is called Chaos and Color. This one has several different styles in it but all are high color, emotive and out of the ordinary detailed art pieces. Continue reading ‘All of This Before Coffee’
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