Unresolved Trauma

Common Symptoms of Unresolved Trauma

Anxiety
A simple yes will do. Anxiety is a daily occurrence for me.

Panic attacks.
I don’t have  panic attacks very often. See avoidance behaviors for why.

Intrusive thoughts, flashbacks.
These are very disturbing for me. Sometimes my thoughts are so intrusive it feels like mental torture. It’s almost as if flashbacks and these thoughts are taunting me. They play again and again until I literally want to cut them out of my head. Of this list here intrusive thoughts and flashbacks are the most disturbing symptom of unresolved trauma. I struggle with this 4 or 5 times per week. By the grace of God it’s not daily.

Shame
On most levels I feel shame and like I’m a lost cause. I feel some level of shame daily. See avoidance.

Exaggerated emotions
This one happens but not as often as it use to. Unfortunately this morning I woke my roommate up pissed that I again didn’t have internet service. The amount of irritation expressed didn’t match the situation. Exaggerated responses (as far as I know) are few and far between. See avoidance behaviors for why. I’ll have to think about this one because something has come to mind that I do quite often.

Irritability
I over use the word irritated and annoyed. Most of the time when I use that word I don’t really mean it. I over use it a lot. I don’t know that in my borderline emotional state that I feel something as gray as irritation.

Mood fluctuations
Could be DID related.

Disorientation
Yes. Daily

Hypervigilance
Yes, to a debilitating degree.

Avoidance behaviors
Ah, avoidance. That could be my middle name. I use to have major panic attacks when I left home so I stopped leaving the house. It got too hard to leave again. Once I was able to leave again I decided to stay very close to home. This helps keep anxiety low enough that I don’t freak out in public. This could be seen as self care but really it’s avoidance.

When I wake up and feel angry before I even put my feet on the floor I do my best to stay away from people because I know I could bite someone’s head off. One wrong move and I could easily flip out. I stay away from people because of it and feel shame because I feel so out of control.

Attractions to dangerous situations or high-risk behaviors.
Not a chance. I’m not a risk taker by any means. I got to the other extreme to the point of being quite rigid in thought and actions. Also noteworthy is that I’m rarely am I spontaneous in anything but my art work. I don’t plan what I’m going to paint. I just mark a line and go from there but other things in my life are not so free flowing. I’m rigid and wish to take the safe and predictable road.

Nausea
I vomit only when I’m extremely afraid. My flashbacks can get so intense that it feels like I’m right there again. I can see, hear, smell and feel everything as if I’m right there. When that happens I end up vomiting. This occurs 2 to 3 times per week and I’ve done it since I was quite little. My teeth are totally shot!

Headaches
Not that often, no.

Dizziness, trembling, fainting
No, I think tossing my cookies takes the place of all of these.

Sleep Disturbances, nightmares
Nightly. As sure as the moon will rise so too will sleep disturbances and nightmares.

Heart Palpitations
Nope, none of those.

Extreme sensibility to heat or cold
This is more than likely related to medical issues.

I already knew I had serious unresolved issues but I wanted to take a look at this list to see which symptom of unresolved issues was more of a problem than others. Flashbacks and nightmares are being addressed, but it appears that shame and avoidance should also be looked at closely.

J of A
Monday, October 26th, 2009- 7:25AM EST