Despite the ongoing irritation my second roommate causes I am quite grateful to be able to call him day or night if I need to. The other day when I had a flat tire he was the one I called. Thursday one of my little buggers was sick and needed a 2am vet check. FJ (Fife Junior) got up without question or grumbling and took me. For all the irritation he causes he can be quite helpful as well as very generous with his time. I have to give him credit for the good stuff.
Monthly Archive for October, 2009
Page 3 of 4
I don’t expect to ever be free of nightmares. And I don’t expect to ever be free of anxiety or fear or even depression. I think they may be my forever companions and that would be just fine if it weren’t for the fact that I believe in monogamy. If one of these emotions or emotional responses partnered up with me while the others left me alone I just might survive this whole ordeal. But it seems emotional bigamy with a sadistic twist is more the order of the day.
I’d like be free. I’d like to be single….singular.
Art details: The middle image represents me. I’m choked by my past and caught up in swirls of questions and high emotion. There are 3 primary faces in the painting while several others are hidden in color or texture. The three faces have very different expressions, calm, fearful and sad. The main figure in white is faceless.
The blue and white sketch is where this painting began.
Cab driver: I don’t really have anything against ______ people.
Me: What? Come on now. I’ve been riding with you for three years and know that’s a damn lie.
Cabby Negative: No really, I just….
Me: Man you know you need to stop.
Cabby laughs. I laugh.
Me: You should have said that to someone who doesn’t know you that well. (pause) I talked to my therapist and he said his office provides anger management. You might be able to get to the bottom of why you’re so bitter.
Cabby Negative: Nah, I’m good.
. 
Sock Monkey house slippers and plaid Joe Boxer PJ’s. If you’re gonna lounge you might as well do it with flair. I got the slippers (and the PJ bottoms) at Disabled American Veteran’s Thrift Store for a buck each. I’ve had the bottoms but I just got the slippers the other day. . . and a teddy bear for 5 cents. I couldn’t leave the bear behind, he was too cute. The other shot is me with pony tails. LOL Yes Beauty. I know. I don’t look 38 I look 12 now be quiet!
I need to change my gratitude day to some other day. It’s really hard to be grateful for anything on a Monday which is a therapy day. At this point it’s pretty much, “Dammit here we go again Monday” or simply, “The Pissed List”.
This would be a standard Dammit here we go again Monday entry:
I’m pissed because:
Continue reading ‘PJ’s with Flair’
Breathe Me by Sia
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there’s no-one else to blame
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
I’m needy
Warm me up
And breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Continue reading ‘Set Us Free’
Pleasing to me was:
The sound of my best friend’s grandchild giggling in the background as we talked on the phone.
Ever so delightful was the last sip of coffee where my peppermint disk settled.
I had warm blackberry pie and vanilla ice cream. My Lord it was good.
I like the smell of heat. When the heater first kicks on there’s a scent that is very soothing to me.
I have a vanilla candle that I put on a mug warmer and let melt slowly as I sleep. Vanilla fills the room and helps relax me.
There was that one week a bit ago where I had no paper at all so I started painting on anything and everything. This is a terrible scan of a pretty cool piece of art painted on an un-used dryer sheet. The background is done in acrylics, the flowers are done in glitter glue.
Do you know how to make an artist cry? Well, here’s how. Take one frustrated artist, have her work on a piece for a good long time then pick that piece up to move it for drying. As she walks to the drying location the artist will trip, fall and have said wet piece fall face down on the dog’s back. See tears squirt from the eyes of the artist! Actually, I didn’t cry. I was quite silent as I picked the fur off the painting as best I could. Smashed blue glitter glue, smeared green glitter glue. (Sigh) Well now you know why this piece is NOT for sale. LOL
The dog- hair- free painting called Best Friends is now posted on my art site.
Faith
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