How To Break A Window

This is a recipe for how to break a window:
2 small bags of candy
2 old pumpkin buckets
1 fence post
1 man child in full fit throwing mode
1 open window
1 slammed door

Mix all of that together and you’ve got yourself a broken window. Last night I told Fife Senior that I don’t celebrate Halloween so I wouldn’t pass out the candy he purchased. He had to go to work and couldn’t do it himself so he wanted me to. I told him no. What I did was sit it on the fence and watch to make sure the kids didn’t take all of it at once. About 50 kids came by and took the candy. An adult was with them and passed the candy out to them. A kid asked if he could take the buckets too so I said yes. All of this happened while I sat in the house in my usual spot which is by the window. I figured it was all good because the candy was distributed and I didn’t have to do anything. When Fife Senior came home  he was upset because he thought I just left the candy sitting outside for one kid to come along and take it. He was so angry that he slammed the front door hard enough to knock my living room window shut. The window slammed down and broke.

I’m not sure if he’s really this upset over the thought of one kid getting two bags of candy. I think it has to do with the fact that his son sits upstairs in his room with the door closed and does nothing. His son eats his food, steals his money and leaves the window wide open even when it’s witch-tit-cold outside. I have a feeling Senior is actually upset with his son but the opportunity to slam something presented itself so he took it. Unfortunately I’m the one who will suffer until the window is fixed.

A week or so ago Fife Senior asked me if I took twenty dollars worth of quarters out of his state quarter collection. I said no then added that before we had someone else living here he never asked me once if I took money from him. I told him the only time a question like that became necessary in this household is when we added his unemployed son.  I was so pissed that I told him the next time something comes up missing don’t even bother to ask if it was me. It wasn’t me! I didn’t have a problem with theft before Junior moved in and I don’t now so don’t ask me if I took something from you. I then walked away.

It would be so nice to sit down and talk to them like normal people but the problem is, they aren’t normal people.

Faith