Daily Archive for November 14th, 2009

Depressed – Update

Published on November 14, 2009 in Art and Depression. 2 Comments

I slept the vast majority of the day away. The more I slept the more I wanted to sleep and the worse I felt.

I can tell you this much I don’t want to get up and I don’t want to do anything today but I will. My to-do list has been written and I’ll follow it. I won’t like it, but I’ll follow it.

Maureen

UPDATE:

I stayed up and ate a real dinner but I didn’t go outside. After a little bit I didn’t feel the need to cry but I did feel the need to do a little painting. This one wasn’t done with just my fingers like the other called Standing Swan. I figured while I had a bit of hand control I’d go ahead and paint. That lifted my spirits too.

After I got out of bed I moved around the house with no real direction, no plan of making my day a success. I just put my feet on the ground and was determined to stay out of bed. I didn’t even attempt to figure out why I feel the way I do. I didn’t try to process it out or make sense of it. I figured to do so would take away from completing my little to do list. I do plenty of processing and inner analysis so it can’t hurt to put all the “why” questions aside for a day or two. I guess I don’t really need to always know why I feel the way I feel. Sometimes it is what it is. I feel depressed. For now that’s just what it is but I do plan to discuss things with my therapist come Monday. For the next few days I’ll just do my thing here at home and stick to the short list above.

With a sigh of relief I can say by getting out of bed I made it through the day. Now you must excuse me as it’s nearly 4am and I should return to said bed and cuddle with my fur babies.

Joan of Arc

Puppy Sitter

Published on November 14, 2009 in Gratitude Journal and Pets. 0 Comments

www.4luvofdog.com

For a little over a week I’ve been puppy sitting. The puppy is here during the day when her mother is at work. She’s dropped off in the morning then picked up in the afternoon. Lolly Pop aka Poppy is a 6 month old Pomeranian/Papillon Mix and is as adorable as she can possibly be.

While watching her I think my view of small dogs has changed quite a bit. I actually like this little girl. Her mother has done a great job of house training her and showing her what she can and can’t play with. Even though Poppy has that annoying bark I hate her sweetness and lap dog cuddling makes it tolerable. Maybe that’s why people like these dogs. They have more positives than the negative sound of their bark.

I don’t have a photo of Poppy but she looks a lot like this little one here who is currently up for adoption at this link.

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A Shining Example

Published on November 14, 2009 in Abuse and Borderline Personality Disorder. 2 Comments

Since my TV was updated and I now have more channels I find that I watch a lot more TV which means a lot more commercials. One commercial I’ve seen which has brought up a few memories is the Bosley hair restoration infomercial.

When I was a child I didn’t get hair cuts. I was to have long hair and could only wear pants twice a week. I could choose which two days. While I don’t see forced skirts and dresses as abusive or even feel ill towards my mother for requiring them I do feel the sting of her requirements that my hair be a certain length. Even when it reached the set length it wasn’t good enough. My hair needed to be a shining example for other little girls and their mothers. They needed to look at me and know what they should be doing and how they should present themselves. I was to be an example in speech, dress and manners. I was to be picture perfect and show the world how to be picture perfect, show them how they don’t have to be simple.

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