I remember this one. The first time I heard it I thought of myself, not of wars with guns but of life at home.
When I hear this song as an adult I can’t help but see the dissociative me, the one who can’t remember things, the one who isn’t sure if she’s awake or asleep but is certainly aware of pain.
Below is what’s being said by the doctor about the young soldier. This part isn’t sung in the song but is absolutely worth noting.
The cerebrum has suffered massive and irreparable damage
You can never know what has happened to him
If I have not been sure of this, I would not have permitted him to live
Where am I?
Father
What happened?
I need help
What is democracy?
What is democracy?
It got something to do with young men killing each other, Arthur
When its comes my turn, will you want me to go?
For democracy, any man would give his only begotten son
It is impossible for any severed individual to experience pain
Pleasure
Memory
Dreams or thought of any kind
This young man will be as unfeeling
As unthinking as the dead
Until the day joins them
I don’t know weather Im alive or dreaming or dead or remembering
How can you tell whats a dream and whats real
When you cant even tell when you’re awake and when you’re asleep
Where am I?
I love that song. There is a book that goes along with it that I read a long time ago. I can relate to the feeling of lying helpless unable to move. When I get real panicky, my arms and legs “go to sleep.”
There are all kinds of war. And all kinds of captivity. We survived some of the worst that can happen and while we were little children.
Thanks for sharing this. I first started understanding ptsd by relating to soldiers from the Vietnam war and what they were dealing with, some twenty five years ago. Good and healing thoughts to us all.
Kate